Nothing yet, but . . . . .

My daughter married a wonderful man 2 years ago. He's 14 years older than she is, but they have a wonderful relationship. My problem is that in the last 3 months, I've started developing some serious feelings for him. Nothing has happened yet, and probably nothing ever will, but it would be wonderful if it did. Those feelings are there, they are real, and they are growing. I want to make them stop, but so far, I have not been able to control that. I worry for what could happen if they get completely out of control, although it would be wonderful if we BOTH lost control ON each other. He is actually closer to my age than he is to hers, he and I have so much in common (art, theater, sports, etc.), and when we are out somewhere all together, everyone assumes that I am his wife, and that his wife is our daughter (it happens every time). I fantasize about actually being his wife, in every possible way, if you get my meaning. I know it has to stop, but I can't stop it.

Jul 24, 2017

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  • You are a nasty s***, and you will eventually destroy your own family. Shame!

  • No, if he and I ever did connect in the way that I want and dream and hope and fantasize, we would be so so so so careful and never ever get caught, at least until we decided to go public with it. At that point, we would be prepared for the difficulty, and our love would get us through it.

  • Stop being around this man. He's your daughter's husband. How would you feel if someone you loved so deeply cheated on you with your mother? You're being selfish, just stip your fantasy now. When those thoughts enter your mind, immediately correct yourself and tell yourself what you're thinking is wrong and deceitful to your daughter. Plus, if he did reciprocate - he's a cheater and will only be using you. It could never turn out well. Never. You will be used by him and then hated by your daughter forever. If you can't stop your thoughts, get help to learn how to, and stay away from him in the meantime. You will fully completely regret acting on this, and you know you will if he made the move on you right now.

  • Logically, I know you're right. But romantically (and sexually), I have begun to find him utterly irresistible. I still doubt that I will ever find the nerve to act on what I feel for him, although I should tell you this. Within just the last few days, I have started to have the impression that he senses my feelings. It's just in the way he looks at me occasionally, or in the way he might touch my arm or my back, or the warmth of a kiss hello or goodbye. Maybe it's my hope or my imagination, or maybe it's just a wakeful dream of joy, but it seems that he knows what's on my mind and in my heart (and between my legs). And I will also tell you this, as another confession: if he ever does make the move on me, as you suggested, I will fully give myself to him, he will have me as often as he wants, he can do to me whatever he pleases, and I will never ever regret it. He can stay with my daughter if he wishes, but he will own me. In private or in public, he will own me.

  • Are you a male or female?

  • Hi, and thanks for writing. I'm a female, and this special man always makes me feel even more feminine. That's a part of his charm, and it's a part of his appeal.

  • This is like the beginning of a great romance novel . . . or even a movie. I LOVE IT! I HOPE YOU GET YOUR MAN!

  • That is TOO sweet! Thank you for your lovely encouragement to my situation and my feelings.

  • Thank you! I so hope you're right!

  • It feels to me like something will soon happen between the two of you. And I think you have that feeling, too, since all of this began coming to a head just 3 months ago. That's not long, is it? That's why I think you're about to find yourself involved in a delicious relationship with your son-in-law. And what that tells me is that you sense he's starting to come around to your way of thinking about you two as a couple, or else he's starting to realize how you feel about him. I think by Christmas, you'll have a sexy present under your tree. :)

  • When I read your lovely note, I focused on the word "delicious" (in fact I even used it a couple of times in other responses here), because that is what this is, these feelings I have for my daughter's husband. They really are "delicious". Yes, of course: I know it's wrong: I should not think of him this way, and I should not be masturbating to the images I create of him in my mind. But that wrongness is a part of the deliciousness of the feelings, isn't it? The more I think of how wrong it is, the more I want him.

  • You're as stupid as the op!

  • You need to quit raping children!!

  • ....wtf...........?

  • One of the other people who commented here already said this, but I think it's true also about the Christmas observation above. I think by Christmas you will also have another present: I think by then you'll find out that your a couple months pregnant. Your going to have a very sexy relationship with this man you love. VERY sexy.

  • I think a baby would be exactly theright thing for the two ofyouand the relationshipyou are seeking. So beautifuland so warm and so romantic and so loving.......

  • I agree. Have him knock you up!

  • He should knock you up too!

  • You're all so very kind and very thoughtful. As I've said before, I have fantasized about this very thing, carrying his baby, giving birth (amazingly, even this thought is intensely arousing, when I think of it being HIS!!!!!), and then raising his child, right under my daughter's nose. The whole situation would be delicious. I doubt that I could carry it off, at least in secret, but the idea really resonates with me.

  • This woman is delusional and lacks family loyalty!

  • Inaccurate

  • You are super sexy and super sexed-up.

  • Thank you for that very flattering observation. I'm really honored by it. And the man I'm writing about is far sexier and much more sexed up than I am. Just standing next to him, I get wet every single time. I'm surprised he can't smell me. :)

  • Not necessarily

  • Just put on plate and he will have it all,you know you want too. Let him get you pregnant and then your new daughter will have a sister who is married to her dad. What nice thing to explain to people who ask . What good old family f*** up .

  • Idiot

  • Bragging yourself up now!

  • I think you were being facetious, or at least ironic, and I get that. But I must say that the idea is very sexy and very appealing. I'd never have the nerve to do it, of course, but it's a wonderful and warm fantasy.

  • Foolish

  • I love the way you describe your feelings. Thanks for sharing them.

  • I'm in l*** with my son-in-law, too. I know how you feel.

  • Stop it then! He's taken!

  • I really believe this could be a serious relationship for you, because of all the commonalities between the two of you. I wish you the best of luck!

  • Not helpful

  • I am on the other side of your situation. I have the same deep feelings for my mother-in-law that you describe for your son-in-law, also held in secret. From my side, if my mother-in-law showed even a slight interest, or hinted at her feelings, I would take it from there and make the move myself. But I have to wait for her to open the door first. Maybe your son-in-law feels the same. Perhaps you should consider making your emotions known, even a little, and see what happens. If he's offended or put off, you can backtrack and say he misunderstood. But if he's into it.........the future becomes yours. Please try. Don't spend any more of your life wondering "what if". This sounds like love. Don't waste it.

  • I have a similar problem. I am the husband married to my older wife. Her daughter is my age and we get along so well that I sometimes think I married the wrong person. I love my wife and would never make a move on her daughter, but I sometimes think about what it would have been like had I meet the daughter first.

  • It's so lovely that you understand me so well. Thank you for giving so much thought to this situation, and for sharing those thoughts with me. I, too, dream about what could have happened had I met Marcus before my daughter did. My life would have been very different. Like you, I don't believe I would ever declare my feelings to him, but there are times when I want to do just that sooooooo badly. I ache for him, but know I can't say it. Much less, act on it (although sometimes I want to jump him). Your situation is even more painful, I suspect, with your age and the daughter's being the same, and I'm sure she thinks the same of you: "If only he weren't married to my mother . . .". I hope that one day, your dreams -- and hers -- will come true. Thank you for the kind thoughts. I wish you well.

  • Your story is fake and you're a child seeking attention. Run along now, it's past your bedtime.

  • And your constant carping and criticism is tired and boring. Go away.

  • Nah

  • Your daughter has good taste in men and apparently, you do too. However, your son-in-law is out off limits. If you love and cherish the relationship with your daughter, you wouldn't ne secretly wanting her man.. Find someone who is single.

  • Of course, you are right. I know it. Logically, intellectually, rationally, I know that. But my heart -- and my body (God help me) -- wants what it wants. I was okay for the first year and a half of their marriage, and had no desire for him. The last few months is when this fire began to burn in me, and it seems to grow hotter and larger every day. Yes, I date other men on occasion, but no one excites my imagination or ignites my fires like Marcus does. I didn't go looking for this, I promise. It seems to have happened on its own for reasons I don't understand. As I said, I don't think I'll ever act on this -- I love my daughter, and I detest DRAMA -- but it's something that is inside me. And, ironically, "inside me" is also where I want my daughter's husband.

  • Rung along now child and stop making up fake stories, to sate your loneliness.

  • Quit raping kids!

  • Fantasy is one thing, pursuing it is entirely something different. How about you put yourself out there and find a guy who is into the same interests you are. Sounds like you're lonely. If anything did happen, you know it would most likely end your relationship with your daughter and grandchildren (if there are any) and there are no guarantees anything would ever develop. And at this moment, sounds like all of the feelings are all on your side.

  • Your points are all totally valid and correct. Yes, if anything happened between Marcus and me, my relationship with my daughter and grandchild would probably be over, and that would be sad. You are probably also correct that this longing is only from my side, and that he doesn't share the sexual urges, although I fantasize that he DOES share them, and that HE is the one to act on them, sweeping me away (yes, I read romance novels). As I mentioned, I don't think I'd ever have the nerve to do or say anything to him about my feelings; they're just there, and it actually felt good just to confess them here, and to read your response, which I appreciate greatly. You seem to know something about these situations and you certainly see things clearly. Thank you for replying to this post, and good luck in your own relationships.

  • Fantasy land

  • Well that could be interesting

  • Oh, sweet Jesus, yes! It would be wonderful, if it were ever to happen. I still don't think it likely: it would be difficult and awkward and painful. But there would be so much love between us, and so much powerful sexuality. I have always had a rich fantasy life, but what I dream about Marcus and the possibility of becoming involved with him (formally or informally, in public or in secret) so far surpasses ALL that, I can't begin to describe. I know it probably won't happen, but oh my God, if it did......I'd be the happiest woman in the world!!

  • La la land

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