Sexist Dad

I remember one time when my mom got a haircut she warned my dad beforehand that it would be shorter than usual and when we got back he was mad. My mom has very pretty orange hair and I thought it looked great short. What I got really mad at was that night when I asked him why he didn't like it he told me that women look better with long hair. After I went to bed I cried because I had just gotten a haircut that was shorter than normal and was feeling insecure.
I remember about a year later my little brother had a new favorite song and he played it and started dancing. After he twirled a couple times my dad told him to stop dancing like a ballerina and to not do it again. I was mad but didn't say anything because my dad gets mad if I challenge him a little bit. It is sad though because he tells me to do what is right but gets mad when I do.
A few days ago we were talking about what instrument my brother should play because my family besides my dad were all in band. I said that he could play the flute like me and my dad didn't look happy but he didn't say anything. In the car I said that he could be color guard (the people who carry the flags and dance in marching routines. My dad said that he couldn't do it because no boy who wanted a good reputation would do it. I told him that I had seen several guys do it watching my sister march and he said that my brother do do better than that. It made me mad because a couple years ago I had said that I wanted to do it and he had been find with it.
This goes to show that people are not only sexist to women, it effects men too, especially boys.


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  • I'm sorry your dad is quite the rolling ball. I'm a General foreman in construction field let me just say sexism is not allowed! With that being said I have two women working for me one in her late 30s with long hair iron worker structure working long hours days doing the same thing climbing the same heights my men workers do, never once did they make her feel less fescues of gender. Another one is 21 yrs young she's also working for me asairon worker she has short hair but that has nothing to do with getting the job done. Your father must teach respect everyone's opinions!

  • I think you're right OP. Sexism is bad for all society. Strength to you!

  • Your dad wants to make a woman out of you and a man out of your brother. There is nothing wrong with that, we need more people like your dad in this world. You should be thankful, you could have a deadbeat dad who wants nothing to do with you and doesn't care how you turn out.

  • Most women cant pull off short hair just like most women probably wouldnt find a guy who plays flute attractive

  • I had a younger brother who was very sexist and macho and pigheaded, no matter what you said if he was in a mood all you would get is "suck my d***" yelled at you. i think its crude. he shouldn't have been allowed to get away with that, saying that to me and his father, and adults for so long. now he thinks he is angelic.

  • I'm sorry that you've been hurt, and that some of the people you love have also felt that same type of pain. You sound like a very empathetic and sensitive person, and so you may even feel more of their pain than you do your own, or at least some of the time. That's so hard for you. Even though you sound very brave and strong, and also very supportive of those around you, don't take too much on yourself. If you have a friend you can talk to about this -- one who won't repeat what he or she hears from you -- rely on them to gain perspective. If you don't have that kind of friend, then find a counselor (at school) or therapist (at a free clinic) and go talk to them sometimes. Don't carry the burden around by yourself. You are very intelligent and very aware, but you can still take on too many of others' problems and become weighed down by them. Stay strong, stay smart, stay yourself. All the best to you.

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