How do I help him

My boyfriend is depressed and extremely insecure over his weight. Every day he makes comments about his weight: apologizing for how fat he is, saying how he is going to get fit for me so he won't be fat, and obsessing over new workout/diet plans to lose weight. I don't know how to address it without making him feel worse and I really worry about him. It's to the point where I'm cautious to mention any health/fitness information I've learned -- I've been strength training recently so I read and discuss as much as possible on the subject -- because he will intensely take interest in anything that will help him "lose weight faster".
His weight doesn't bother me. While I am all for being healthy and fit -- because that's what I try to be -- the way he is going about it isn't healthy at all. I don't know how to reassure him that he looks fine the way he is, and that it's okay to be his size. He keeps putting himself in embarrassing/self-loathing situations because he will buy sizes that are smaller than his weight since he seems to be in denial that he isn't where he feels he "should" be, then binge on food to self-heal, sometimes to the point where he pukes.

I could really use some advice, and please, no mean comments on how he should "man up" or anything of the like. A lot of men deal with these sort of insecurities, though it's normally in silence and not as obvious.

Report this


  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • It's not a "man" or "woman" issue, it's a human issue. If we'd stop focusing so damned h****** assigning special labels and see things like this for what they are-- HUMAN issues-- there'd be a lot less posturing and a lot more practical action. Scary thought, isn't it? Too bad. That's what works.

  • I feel that way and I am a woman. I take medications that make me stay at a level no matter what exercise or diet or not. the thing is to be more pro-active and go out dancing great way to lose weight and avoid alcohol and bad food and a few weeks get into some juicing and milk diet shakes or plain old milk and detox the body and exercise like at a gym or some activity he likes like running or dancing or weights or skateboarding or swimming etc. even heavy duty s** a lot.

    get rid of the car and walk more. sunlight will do you good.
    emotions are a factor to. look at hidden resentments and bitterness and what you need to let go of emotionally and spiritually and financially. some people get fat with anger and hate and revenge and sadness and loss, or out of too much money without hard work for it.

  • Now don't laugh or scoff with what I'm about to say. It worked and worked well for me. My wife is very health conscience and very much so for me as well. I will also add she is fit and attractive. We had some basic work out things in our home.

    She said if I would work out with her she would work out n a k e d. And that's what we both did. I was motivated beyond belief and she guided the work outs as she was obviously more versed than I. Since she is the cook we ate healthy as well.

    I found working out in the state of undress had another benefit. You could intimately see the muscle you were working on which is also motivating as you can focus on it and see the progress.

  • Get rid of any snacks or binge eating foods in the house.
    Stock up on vegetables chicken tilapia salmon lean proteins brown rice And quinoa.
    Stock up on water.
    Avoid bringing up any diets or plans
    Don't change your affection towards him or make him feel any more or less.
    Support him go with him to the gym for walks, jogs, etc
    Reciprocate more greens and natural eating teas green teas etc

  • The Blood Sugar diet is excellent. The 8 week programme works well.

  • 1. Get him help for depression.

    2. Work on creating a culture in the house of eating healthy foods.

    3. Find a fun way of working out with him. Set goals and celebrate them when you achieve them.

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?