Husband can’t deal with our fertility issues

We have been trying to have children for 3 years. I have a blood disorder that makes it difficult to “hold on” to a pregnancy. We can get pregnant, but have multiple miscarriages. I have suggested a surrogate or adoption. He refuses as he finds surrogacy to weird, and only wants a child that is “his own”. This has become an obsession for him, and I’m becoming despressed. S** is on a constant calendar, and there is no fun or joy it in it anymore. I had an instance last week when I was leaving for work and he asked where I was going. I told him I needed to get to a meeting and he said, we have had s** yet this morning (it was on a fertile day), and I said I can’t - we can tonight or tomorrow, but I’ll late. He started screaming and told me I owe this to him and he needs to be the priority. We had s** and I had to run out the door and was late to work. I live in fear that one more person or family member will tell us they are pregnant. It results in a huge fight and him drinking himself into a depression, versus happiness for those that have a successful pregnancy. He often now tells me he hates me because we got together later in life and now have spent years trying to have a child. I told him I’m happy with our life and our dogs, would be open to adoption or other avenues, and he said there is no life without children and he regrets wasting his time on me. Now he feels like it’s too late in life ( mid to late 30’s), and the resentment is growing. I cry constantly and feel sad all the time. I just needed to say this out loud.


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  • Your husband is an arrogant stain. What makes his DNA oh so special? He "can't" love some kid that didn't get squirted out of his mighty golden pingu? Dear lord.

    Honey, you already HAVE a child-- the one you married. That really sucks, because not only do you not deserve to be treated that way, but it sounds like you're the one with a brain in their head in this situation. Take care of yourself and pray for cirrhosis for him.

  • Your husband needs to get a grip. He has no right to treat you poorly.

    My husband and I also have had difficulty having a baby, because he has a low sperm count with low motility. We are still hopeful for a pregnancy, but the key is to relax, love each other, and don't get upset. If it happens it happens. If not, just enjoy and keep trying. There is no reason to be abusive.

  • My husband too had the same issue. I was fed up going through hospitalization, tests, etc, etc. It came to one stage that he lost interest in s**. Meanwhile I got pally with one of our office staff and make out with him.

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