I would've been one year clean of self harm but I couldn't repress my depression any longer
Hey, I understand. Fellow self-harmer here. Relapses are a part of the healing process. Try not to be upset with yourself and have self-compassion. Understand where that need came from. What were you feeling when you got that urge? Devise a plan on what you can do instead. Next time you get that urge, distract yourself from it. Go on a walk outside away from sharp objects, Watch a TV program, read a book, call a friend/family member you trust to talk to (you don't even tell them about what you're feeling. Just having them there to talk to about anything will help you feel less along). If no one is available, call the suicide hotline. They've helped me each time I've called. They do a good job of breaking everything down and getting to the root of the problem, no matter how overwhelming it is.Another thing that helps me is having someone hold me accountable. I made a promise to two people that I wouldn't cut anymore, so now whenever I get close to doing it, it's associated with them. Not only does the fear of disappointing them keep me from doing it, but it's also a reminder that there are people that love and care about me... and I don't know about you, but a trigger for me in these situations is feeling alone.As a long-term solution, I'd suggest therapy if you can afford it. It's the most helpful and self-loving thing you can do for yourself. Best wishes dear. You got this.
I don't understand how you think hurting yourself will make you less depressed, it just gives you more scars to hide... Maybe you should like, NOT do that.
Your first sentence says it all. You don't understand. So don't talk. It really doesn't help. Even telling OP to get therapy would have been 10x more helpful than you shaming them for doing it in the first place. There are a bunch of reasons why people self-harm. Look it up.
There are also a bunch of ways to help with depression other than self-harm, especially the kind where your scars "accidentally" show at random times. There are ways of coping that either actually address the problem or calm you that don't require attention-seeking evidence. LOOK IT UP.
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