"Who is Your Daddy" Problem

My daughter just had her second child, a healthy baby boy. I'm really happy for her and her husband. Here's the thing: even from the moment she gave birth, and I was there, I had secret doubts whether the child was her husband's. My daughter and her husband are very fair-skinned Caucasian, the types that will burn if they are in the sun for more than 10 minutes. That is, very, very white.

My daughter's new baby is darker skinned, basically an olive color. It looks nothing like their previous kid. I mentioned this to my husband, and he said to keep quiet about it. Well, as my daughter started posting pics on fb of her new baby, all of the aunts and uncles in the family started messaging me privately with the same suspicions: that the kid isn't fathered by my daughter's husband. Everyone is like "That can't be [her husband's]." So it's not just me who thinks this way.

I don't know what to say to my daughter. Do I mention to her that everyone in the family thinks that her husband is not the father? Do I just straight-up ask her "Who were you f****** last year?" Do I keep my mouth shut and just let there be the eternal doubt that runs through the extended family about the paternity? I'm so unsure about what to do. Any advice would be welcome. This has me stressed out.

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29 Comments

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  • Observe the blatant, despicable, liberal spin on this clear violation of this scumbag's wedding vows. With liberals though, there's always some far fetched possibility they refer to as a talking point to defer attention away from what actually or most likely occurred. At least fifteen [15] respondents here are supporting her obvious cheating. Also notice how there is nothing here reporting the husband's feelings regarding the cosmetic difference.

    Needless to say, there is obviously & perhaps literally a n_i_gg_e_r in the woodpile here.

  • My brother is a bit darker than me, but he's clearly from our parents. It's no big deal. It happens. Be happy.

  • It's might be jaundiced and just looks olive skinned lol seriously though my parents are both white and my sisters are olive skinned they def my sisters coz they look like my dad..it does happen. It's not a far stretch that there are dark skinned people on her husbands side is it? The truth will out at some point if it isn't...time will tell. Or get your daughter and alone with the baby..start cooing over it etc then exclaim you can't figure out who the baby looks like...she may tell you there and then to get it off her chest if it's not her husbands..she will know it'll come out and would probably be wanting to tell someone ..just make sure you set the mood right.

  • Well, first off, it's your grandkid and you'll love him no matter what. Keep that in mind. So, you'll need to sit your daughter down (just her) and say that her child doesn't appear to be the father's biological child. Also, say that you have no opinion on that but that people are talking and that you'd like to help her navigate this issue when it inevitably becomes more public. Explain to her that you are there for her but you need to be brought in and provided with whatever "truth" she wants you to tell. Her revealing the real truth may be what makes you feel better about the situation and more prepared to help her and her family out.

  • Your problem is not the paternity of your grandchild. It's not that your daughter may have been flinging. Here's your problem: if you ask your daughter who the father is and you're right, she's going to lie to you, and if you ask your daughter who the father is an you're wrong, she's going to be hurt. The only way to avoid both those painful (to you or to her) outcomes is to say nothing.....to anybody.

  • This happens a lot. I guarantee a DNA test would reveal that your daughter's husband is the father.

  • That was my thought exactly. It’s very likely that it’s a recessive gene on either or both sides. I happened to be the youngest in my family and they are as white as the proverbial driven snow. I look… “Italian“ Is what strangers will often say. We had a paternity test after my parents were gone, I have the exact same genes as my brothers. Go figure

  • How about single the kid out. When they come over to your house, set a separate table just for them

  • That's the only brilliant response here. Of course, the table will be in the REAR of the room.

  • My brother's kid has cystic fibrosis. It is genetic.
    Everyone on our side got tested and no one has it. On the wife's side no evidence either. I suspect a little straying

  • In other words, your witness counselor.

  • You should stay out of it. That's easy enough. But here's the hard part: you can't talk about it. Not to anyone. Because if your casual observations about the child's paternity got back to your daughter and son-in-law, much damage would be done. Much damage. So butt out and pipe down. It's actually none of your business anyway.

  • Make up your mind instead of the back & forth crap. It's referred to as a "catch 22".

  • I'd say its none of your buissiness. If they are happy, leave it at that.

  • If both parents are happy what the f*** others are thinking is immaterial, as simple as that....

  • The fool never said anyone was happy. it's a dilemma with no closure for now so there is indeed nothing simple at this point until the scumbag confesses to getting laid by a n_i_gg_e_r.

  • DNA test?

  • I have a brother who is Irish white and so am I, but our sister is darker skinned and tans like cocoa. It happens. Leave them alone

  • I think this will happen to my cousins daughters and much younger as well. I feel doom is upon their life.

  • Ask the Husband if the dark skin runs in his family and add in the "because it sure isn't from our side". You could ask her and she lie and then you're still in the same boat. If he questions it could lead to a DNA test and if it's his, all good. If it's not tell him to run, run fast.

  • Common sense advice.

  • I think you can probably tactfully address the situation privately, but don't freak out by what you might learn. You might find out more about her s** life than you really want to know.

  • True, however tact will vanish when she learns her daughter is a n_i_gg_e_r_f_u_ck_e_r.

  • If they're happy then its none of your business.
    Too many people confuse s** and love, s** is s** and love is love 2 totally and completely different things, and if your daughter got a little strange no biggie if your son in law doesn't have a problem with it.

  • If there is an issue there, it's for your daughter and son-in-law to sort out. The rest of the family should assume the best, operate on that assumption, and leave it alone.

  • Check out pictures of both families ancestors. Might be a n***** in woodpile.

  • EXCELLENT. That's my absolute favorite phrase due to it fitting countless conversations lacking credibility nowadays. No one is revealing the whole story anymore. Most people lie about something on a daily basis.

    We'll write it again: THERE'S A N_I_GG_E_R IN THE WOODPILE.

  • DNA test

  • Be a grand parent first love your children no matter what.Sometimes it is difficult to do so it is your grand child regardless who the father is.Same as adoptive families who cares who the father is just love the child.

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