My best friend gave me head we haven’t been the same since

Ok, so this time last year, my best friend came over when my family was gone one night. He was 18, I was 17 and I’ve always had feelings for him.

. Now, I’ve always wondered if he’s gay (I’m pretty sure i am). We would always have this joke about a blonde guy on our school bus who’s super good-looking and has a massive ass. He’s straight as can be but he was only 15 last year (he’s taller than us both and very mature). We have another “joke” (I think he’s pretending to joke but actually really likes these guys) about a guy our age who’s super good looking. My friend would always say how “he’s so good looking even I would give him head and I’m straight” And “im not gay but I have a thing for him”.

Anyway, this night we were sitting on the couch, it was late. I got up to pick up a thing off the floor across the room and he walked over too because we were talking. I sensed that he was acting different since we were both alone in a house at night. I have a feeling he had a plan for what he wanted to do... He kept making “jokes” like ‘bend over, hahahahah only joking’ and this other stuff, we also got into talking about our younger blonde guy in detail.

He sat back down, I went to my room, I came back and he was facing the opposite, sitting on his knees on the couch, his ass facing the door and peeled out. Only now do I realise he did that so I’d see it straight away. I kinda stood there awkwardly and then he sat down again. There was a break in conversation, and he put his hand down his pants. (Our feet had been touching previously - random thing that made me realise he wanted to do something which was irrelevant at the time but not now). Then he kind of pulled his pants down a small bit revealing his pubes and said something like ‘I’m kinda h****.’ Also previously he had taken a shot of vodka 10 mins before which will come into play again later. I had some CK briefs on which he was impressed by (stupid ik) but it made him pull down his pants more and he asked if I wanted to see his d***. I just laughed nervously. He pulled his pants down and started rubbing his d*** and asked me to show him mine. I left the room because I was so nervous and my heart was POUNDING. I came back and sat down ‘come on show me your’s.’ I pulled mine down and got it hard and he said ‘wow you’ve a nice d***’ and ‘oh you’re cut’. He asked if he could feel, of course I let him (although I was super confused) and he asked me to feel his. Soon we were wanking each other off.

After a minute or two I said ‘didn’t you say guys give better head because they know what feels good’ and he was like yeah do you want me to? And I said I don’t mind. He sucked me off, and started rubbing my b****. Then he said to give him head, so I did.

I stopped and we kept wanking, he asked if I antes head again, I said yes. He told me to stand up, and he sat up on the couch and blew me for a while. The thing that shocked me was he started feeling my ass with one hand and really squeezing it. He was clearly into it. He came before I could and then he stopped immediately, put on clothes and called his dad to come pick him up. He made me pinky swear not to tell anyone (sounds stupid ik) and asked if I liked it. He said he didn’t and ‘at least I know I’m not gay’.

This left me SO confused. Yes he has a shot of vodka so maybe he was a tiny tiny bit tipsy, but he was fine. He asked me to give him head, a handjob, he initiated the whole thing, he felt my ass, my b****, he asked me to bend over ‘jokingly’ early on in the night. Clearly a sexual encounter was in his mind.

So soon after we never really met up again, school stopped for summer and so did our friendship. It’s never been the same since, he went to college. I text him sometimes but he doesn’t read it for ages and seems uninterested most times. I’ve tried to meet up with him about 10 times this year but he’s always ‘busy’ with work.

Is he gay? He has had girlfriends and stuff, but he started that whole thing and he came really quickly. He made it seem like it was a casual thing which for us it wasn’t.
Should I stop trying to meet him? I feel like I’m annoying him but I really liked that night and want to do it again!! I feel like he doesn’t.
Does he see me as the person that made him drop his facade of masculinity maybe? He’s SUPER homophobic too like
His family.

I would love to know if you think he sounds like he’s gay and what I should do... thanks for reading


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  • The other boy who I barely knew was yanking my cutoff's down exposing a fresh pair of white cotton underpants, mine! He lives down the beach from my grandparents lakefront cottage. He was a well formed fourteen year old, I was a small for my age boy of eleven. Though soon to be twelve I lacked any signs of masculinity yet and was smoothly beautiful for a boy that many found attractive.
    He stared at my underpants for a moment, looking into my eye's flirting a blush caused by his boldness and knowledge of seeing my underpants. He kissed me passionately on my lips causing me to go limp. He kissed his way down my smooth skinned shirtless boyishness and about my boypanties, then in them.
    With his insistence I reciprocated, blushing the whole time....
    I'm not sure how it happened, but laying in the sand under a unrepairable boat we were trying to make seaworthy he popped my boycherry. My underpants tight in his fist against the side of my face told me I was naked beneath him. The firm hardshaft of his p**** burried deep in my quivering cheeks taught me what my cute little bottom was for, I had no idea what f****** was let alone getting f*****..... What a first time!

  • Ok. i was the other guy once. we w*** each other but in the end i did not enjoy it. it was called bi-curious. but after i done it i know im not gay. i did not want that to ever happened again and it didnt cross my mind ever again. that was 15 years ago. my friend cry his eyes out cause apparently he loves me but i was only curious n drunk. so do not take it personally. just try to let it flow.

  • Are you cute? I am just a sucker for a pretty face man only.

  • Me, too! After ^he^ is done I want to take a turn on you!

  • You need to hook up with another guy, and let your friend know it's happening. He'll be so jealous that it will eat him alive, knowing that another man is sticking his d*** in you. And then he'll come to you like you want him to.

  • Do NOT give up on him. Don't put on the full-court press: just continue to let him know you want his d***, and you'll do whatever it takes to get it. Tell him, too, that he can have your mouth, your throat and your ass ANYTIME he wants it.

  • Yes, this is the best course to take. Do ^this^.

  • Based on the post, it's hard to tell if he's gay. Probably, but he's also aloof and homophobic? Wow. He has identity issues through which he needs to work. Your relationship might need work too, and is clouding that issue. If he is ignoring you, it might be more about you than him.

  • Just kill yourself.

  • I know its 2018 so is there an alternative for the “ha gay” or do i go for it

  • Best advice is let go of the experience and face the future and the now

  • Tell him that all this grew out of the friendship and thats enough reason to believe that the love affair will last: you two didn't just get drunk and h**** one night and let your guard down. you had something meaningful in place as a foundation for the s**. its beautiful and the two of you should be together.

  • F*** him

  • You are a thoughtful man, and you are a great friend. He's lucky to have you. I agree with the other commenter (and likely with your own instincts): your friend is definitely gay, and he wants more of you. He's just afraid of the fact that you made him feel soooooooo good, and he didn't expect that. He realizes now that his homosexuality is more complete than he had believed possible, and you made him realize that. Please don't give up on him, or on the relationship. In fact, TELL HIM you aren't going to give up on him, or on the relationship. Make yourself clear to him. I don't mean you should make a pest of yourself or be pushy: just be matter-of-fact and let him know how good that night was (and how good HE was), and that you want more of those nights (and much more of HIM). Tell him you want to pick up where the two of you left off, and you want to see where it all goes. Don't beg, and don't make yourself seem "needy": just be clear with him so he knows you're serious, and that you are prepared to be involved with him. And you ARE serious, I can see/hear/feel it in your post. That night you had with him was wonderful, and continuing it is worth the effort to purse. If I'm proven wrong, and he doesn't want any more of you, then you've lost nothing. But I am certain he wants more of you (I even want more of you and we haven't met). In fact, he may want ALL of you; i.e., he may want the two of you to go exclusive. I hope that happens, because it sounds like the two of you would be lovely together. And you seem like a very inspired and wonderful lover. I wish you only the best. Go get your man!!!!

  • He’s gay. He just doesn’t know it yet.

  • Well said. Very true.

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