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No word for it
I want to have a best friend I can talk about ** with. I have an ongoing relationship that I’m happy with, but they don’t like for me to discuss with others. I don’t think that’s unreasonable, but I really wish sometimes that I could just chat with a friend. They ask how I’m doing and I can just say “I’m okay, a little annoyed because I’m **,” and that’s just normal? Doesn’t require a huge reaction of disdain or uncomfortable amount of interest. Just someone saying “Ah, that **,” and we move on. It’s a dumb thing to want a friend for, and makes the platonic relationship less “strictly platonic” when you’re bringing up intimate topics, and I know it could incite gossip. I don’t have a lot of friends, let alone close ones, and it is a selfish thing to expect the mention of your ** life to be a completely neutral thing, when obviously there are implications and feelings attached. Still, I think I missed out on ever having a best friend in my adult life and at this point I’m not sure I’m up to looking for one, especially with this weird desire to overshare lingering in the motivation to. I’m still young, plenty of time to develop friendships, lasting or otherwise, I just don’t seem to have the time and I’m not particularly motivated to anyway. I’d rather spend my free time alone if I’m honest, even though I am in a committed relationship. I think I probably enjoy discussing ** as much as I do having **, as it’s less effort and I still gain a sense of satisfaction from it. That might be an exaggeration, I do enjoy emotional connection from **, but sometimes I just want to talk about it, and that longing just doesn’t seem to budge. It’s been a long time I’ve had that feeling, and I haven’t really done anything about it. My partner doesn’t want to talk about ** if it isn’t on the cards or in relation to an issue to solve between us. I just want to chat about it, I wish society didn’t divide people into promiscuous or prudish. There is a middle ground that’s reasonable.
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