Depression and suicide

I know this may seem like an exaggeration, but this how I genuinely feel.

TL:DR I've been dealing with a lot of s***, I hate everyone, and I feel like everyone hates me. I have no friends with me, and I can't talk to anyone, as I don't mix well with them. I feel like i'm destined to fail and everything and everyone is against me, and to me, life is just full s*** and not worth living anymore.
For over a year I've been dealing with depression, anxiety, and loneliness. I don't trust anyone, I barely leave my room, and it's gotten so bad up to the point where it's been affecting me physiologically.

And now I just feel like dying.
And I honestly just want all this s*** to end, so i've been thinking about death, and the peace it will bring, however I fear killing myself, as I fear pain, I know it's cowardly, but I just want to sleep forever and let all the s*** disappear.

In the past I would fear the thought of death or something similar to death, but now, the thought of death wouldn't even faze me, my depression, anxiety, and loneliness has eaten so much of me, up to the point that if death came, I would happily accept it.

I know compared to others' my pain may seem like nothing, but it hurts so much for me.

Though I plan on living a little longer, I honestly do not see any point in living and enduring any all this s*** anymore.
And if things aren't changing for the better, i'm just gonna resort to suicide.

3 Comments

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  • This isn't the place for you to write about unfortunately. You will get replys and lots of them all saying they are here for you etc etc etc. All lovely genuine people who mean what they comment but their loveliness doesn't help your problem at all and this is something you need to get help with now.
    My simple advice because I know nothing about your situation other than what your threatening to do is this.
    Show your post to the person you trust the most. We all have one of these. If you received the most amazing news ever but could only tell one person for whatever reason who would it be. That's the person you need to show this.
    Good luck.

  • I'm here to say I'm here for you. I'm suffering too, but if it helps at all, like the other commenter mentioned, there are people on here just like you who you can reach out too. You're not alone.

    Sometimes it's hard for us to believe that we're not alone, especially when we feel no one gets us, but just reading what you wrote shows there are still people out there who feel, and the fact you're reaching out, that says something.

    Use this place to vent. It does help.

  • Nicholas....first I would say that you did brilliant thing by sharing your concern over here...this gives us a chance to see whether we stand alone or not or is there a solution for my problem....I am just like you bro...talk to me as much as you can...others will also help...your good human being....

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