I forgave my molester

I'm sorry that happened to you. However, you choose to process it is a personal one. Whether you choose to forgive is totally up to you and you don't have to justify it. You say you can't be so upset with her, do you want to be upset with her? Curious, Has she apologized to you? Would that help you in healing? Does she understand what she did or has she gotten help for her own trauma? Have you been talking to a therapist? I'm sure this short reply doesn't touch on everything that I could say or answers you are looking for. It's just important that you take care of you. Rainn.org is a good organization - you can find support there.

She did apologise. I did confront her. Her apology didn't help and yes I do sometimes want to be upset with her and her apology made it hard but I still do take a revenge by talking about it to her when I can no longer bear it. I've seen 3 therapists in the last ten years and I'm much better now. It has only gotten unbearable a couple of times but mostly because I didn't know if I could justify me forgiving her to the world but I can see now that I can and that helped tremendously.
Thankyou.

Everyone has experiences, whether they're similar or dissimilar, varies. We all have our own personal stories. We're all individuals and our unique individualities, determine how we perceive, handle and overcome specific situations that occur in our lives.

So my point is, you don't require acceptance and reassurance from strangers. If you've truly forgiven your sister, that was your individual choice to do so. Who are "We" to judge you and assume it's wrong? Live and let live if that's your choice, your decisions are your own responsibility, not anyone else's.

I agree. You don't require approval from others.

You've opened yourself up for a diatribe of negativity, by posting this confession. However, it is a confession website and that's the sole purpose of it. So you haven't done anything wrong.

No judgements from me Op, no one else's individual opinions and judgements regarding your personal business are important nor relevant. Everyone is different, have different circumstances, lives, morals, values, personalities, experiences, relationships and so forth. It's difficult to assume how every single individual of sexual deals and would deal with sexual abuse, if it happened to them. Not unless we've been told directly from an abused person.

Good luck 😊

Thank you to all the people who are angry with me, it's nice to know for sure that yes, I will be judged despite not being in control of what happened to me as a child, it's nice to know that all you judgemental jerks that I feared would be basically telling me that I'm spineless to forgive is actually true, I'm not going to tell any ** one of you the journey that it took me on to forgive her but that's not important, you're miserable because you got abused and had no heart or mind to think about yourselves afterwards. The thing is I'm better than you and that grates on your ** skin. And it's true, I AM better than you, I actually chose myself over everything else, and I will continue to do so. You're the ones who should not be forgiven, misery loves company and you ** who want to make me feel miserable about the fact that I can't chose who I love is akin to being gay surrounded by right wing christians. Thank God I posted this, met some wonderful sweet people who encouraged my spiritual and psychological awareness and now I'm meeting ** like you, good for me. I now know that I'm going to be punished as hard as a child molester simply for the sin of having courage to forgive. Maybe you ** who judge me are doing so because you never ever got to get back at your abusers, but I ** made sure I did because I have guts and I AM MORE IMPORTANT. Now you all judgemental freaks can go to ** along with you abusers like you're trying to condemn me

I commend you,,you made it through that terrible thing that happened to you and later on in life instead of passing it on you didnt molest anyone,,the cycle stopped with you.

No forgiveness these days. People just want someone to blame. But to be right with yourself you have to forgive others and move on otherwise you just get depressed

Yes but getting ur 9 yr old sister to flash men on cam omg

I feel people would accept me more easily if I was furious about it, I just don't want to be considered a spineless doormat. Or maybe I am seeing how I'm so afraid to be judged so...

What did you injoy flashing the camera

Sorry to hear about your experience. I don't know if this counts as being molested, but when I was 9 my sister would get on webcam with guys and want me to come in and flash the camera or do things with her. I've never been angry about it and enjoyed it when it was happening but now I'm thinking, "holy ** I was 9 and you were getting me to do all that for perverts over the internet." Kinda ** up looking back on it.

What stuff did you do on cam

It would be nice if you could not be so blasé about it

Blase about what explain

The wordings used makes the incident sound more like an anecdote than a troubling incident. And considering the way you mentioned that you were never angry about it and enjoyed and now you're like "holy ** that was f'd up" doesn't just insultingly compares the different way of handling the situations, it also diminishes the emotional trauma I went through. You may not have evaluated the affect it had on you but i have, for years. I didn't just forget or forgive what happened, it changed me forever and it was a journey to forgive her which I'm still on. Maybe you didn't care about what happened to you, not saying that oh my God! You should be angry with her and never talk to her again, but it would have been better to share a deeper insight than a "eh, it kinda happened to me too, you shouldn't think about it so much"

Good for you hun huggs xxxxx