My wife's sexual past haunts me. I am ready to divorce.

I confess that I was too naive to have married the woman that I did. I should start out by saying that I am a Christian, and I look to the Bible for truth in pretty much everything I do. I was a virgin when I met her, and still was till our wedding night. Due to my lack of sexual experience, I was clueless as to how I would feel about her after our first time making love, and due to my Christianity, I was always told to forgive others. However, as I have become aware, forgiveness does nothing to change the past, as as well as how it affects each of us. It merely proclaims to the abuser that we won't take retalitory action against them like they deserve. Also, the whole "forgive and forget" phrase is complete garbage, and not even the slightest bit Biblical. Even God hasn't forgotten all of my sins. He has simply taken out his anger and wrath on His Son in my sinful place (that's Christianity 101 for you).
My wife was an agnostic for most of her life, before being saved as a Christian. It was doing these agnostic years that she slept with her various lovers. Anyway, after we made love for the first time, I began to have nightmares and thoughts of all her previous boyfriends doing fhe same with her. I still have them to this day, and they drive me crazy. Probably the most damning is how I now understand what the Bible means in 1 Corinthians 7:4 about each spouses body belonging to the other spouse. I feel like I gave her an untouched feast to dine on, and got someone else's moldy leftovers from her in return.
Anyway, we've been married for almost two years now, and due to my not getting over her past, I no longer desire to get intimate with her at all. I always find myself repulsed and pulling away from her whenever she makes an advance. The only times I have s** with her are when she starts nagging and crying about the lack of it, just to make her shut up for a while. Even then, I just tune her out and go through the motions to get it over with, despite the visions in my head.
I have read in the Bible in Matthew 19:9 where Jesus permitted divorce from adulterous spouses. I often find myself pleading to God in prayer for either death or adultery for my wife, so I can get out of this heinous marriage I've gotten myself into by His standards without sinning myself. I know this is completely wrong, but it does give me relief and peace to ask God to please end this suffering in a way that He has deemed as allowable in His word. It does hurt, because I remember when I used to be so in love with my wife before we got married and consummated. Don't get me wrong, I still provide and care for her. I still love her, but I am definitely not in love with her by any stretch of the imagination. The truth is, since our wedding night, she has never really felt like my wife. Instead, she feels like someone else's that I have been left with for the rest of my life.

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  • There is something deeper going on here. You knew before marriage that she wasn’t a virgin. Yet now you pray for “death or adultery” for your wife so you can be free. Our past is our past and we cannot change it. Nothing you’ve said has anything to do with after marriage. She’s been faithful to you, she wants to BE WITH YOU and she CHOSE YOU as her husband.
    You’re being selfish and are tormenting her because she has no idea what’s wrong with you. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. Otherwise you’re making both of you miserable because of her past that YOU can’t get over. She’s not the problem, you are.
    The Bible also talks about judging others. Buddy, you judge her everyday for her past. And praying for her death just so you can get out of the marriage is no different a sin than getting a divorce.
    Sure the Bible says we mustn’t divorce unless adultery has been committed but you want her dead to be free.
    No wonder people don’t like us Christians. They read your stuff and think we all think like you. We don’t. I don’t judge my wife for her past nor she me.
    If I thought for one minute that my wife wanted me dead so she could get out of this marriage I’d be devastated.
    Do both of yourselves a favor and either talk to her or divorce her because it isn’t going to get better and the longer this goes on the worse it gets.
    You are the problem not her or her past.
    Truth be told I’d imagine you hate yourself for waiting and wish you had other women and a divorce would allow you to have s** with others. That’s the problem I think. You missed out on multiple woman and have tasted s** and want others.

  • Load of s*** tbh. I’m Christian and had multiple partners before I met my wife. Yeah it took a while for her to get over it, but now it’s like it never happened cause the past is the past. So don’t be a little b**** over the fact that she slept with other men. Get over it and accept the fact that she even said yes.

  • You ,me ,f****** world is hypocrite

  • I'm guessing you looked up each of those bible verses. Because there is no way you are Christian with that attitude.
    And if you are fake, then your post is probably fake too.

  • “Just to make her shut up a while. “

    Fucken christian of you. You dont deserve her fagg ot.

  • L****... this is such crap. You think you're such a Christian and you're better than your wife. Maybe you should read Matthew 7: 1-5 again. "Do not judge or ye too shall be judged"
    You want out of your marriage, then divorce her. But remember Corinthians 5: 10 "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ"

  • I am not a Christ follower nor have read Bible but i do know that after marriage my wife just belongs to me no other guy. Incase it's working out she can file a divorce and I'll let go. So you need to get rid of trash at your home and throw her into the garbage

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