Nurses look at my pitiful and usually have full erection without me having any feeling or ability to e********. They can tell me that my feelings are normal, but most of them really don't know they are doing to me in my head. Yes, I am a sinner trying to battle my inner challenges but I can see on their faces how they enjoy my condition sometimes and even are blushing and privately laughing at my throbbing c*** as their eyes focus on my genitals.. One of them even said how blue my b**** were giving for not releasing-she loved it and practically admitted it to me. I wish the inner sensations would simply stop because they can sometimes drive me absolutely crazy. Other times I am fine, but it doesn't take much for me to realize their reoccurring attention to my little but growing inability to release my approval with their actions. I may have confessed this before but cannot remember. Why don't they just say what they are really feeling for my benefit and theirs? Fearful they will lose their jobs or something, but I see right through their private conversations and humiliation towards me, pitifully yet amused behind their smiles-go figure no abuse history in my life or anything, just childhood thoughts and behavior prior to an accident that left me in this physical condition. Despite the confession I do really well most of the time, God knows

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  • Dude, there are service providers who speacialize in this, they're called hookers!

  • I guess you are on to me sort of. However I really write it as it feels (or doesn't) my thoughts and feelings are so scatterbrained and that's just how it is. There's no doctor or seeing your nurse that can legally or willfully do this for me. One nurse privately held onto my b**** while I was extremely hard. In my head I was C****** repeatedly and she told me to go with it. All of a sudden a guilty feeling overwhelmed me and I told her to stop she would not understand. She did her best but the guilty in me told her to go help the physically ill people and I was OK. I was really lying because the problem was and is persistent and she said "you are not even wet yet-are you sure you want me to stop?" In my head it felt like my whole c*** and b**** exploded and I could barely breathe! I told her my age (I am 40) and felt like a teenager or something and repeatedly apologized for acting so foolishly. She is/was at least a married nurse and I felt terrible. The mere thought of her waiting for me to e******** when I could not less excruciating-that's the best that I can explain. I laid there with a throbbing h****** and she said "OK if you are sure" and walked off. Somehow I felt like I was disappointing her by not e********** for her or something. I have adjusted to my disability and other aspects from my accident, but for some reason I cannot shake (no pun intended) the inability to express my sexual pleasure physically for a woman and especially because I feel like repeatedly orgasmed and they don't know. Sometimes it seems like they like it other times they are disgusted and frankly more times than not it's in my head but their reaction in many cases is too obvious to be imagined. I really don't know what else to say except that I am trying to turn it over to God right now-thank you for trying and replying definitely a good suggestion if I had the b**** so to speak and legal ability to suggest such a thing-does that help?

  • Welcome back.. i guess. Yea, you posted a few times about your sexual frustration.

    Sounds like you are having a even harder time dealing with it than last time you posted.

    Is there any clear policy for that sort of thing? Of course they have to tend to your regular needs but what about your issue?

    Can you just ask a senior nurse? Preface it with a request to treat this as adults and that you are facing stress regarding it. Mention how you are having sensations that you can not explain but feel they are related.

    I'd like to see some follow up, maybe even in a new post but please take longer to form proper sentences. I know your situation makes that difficult, but I had a hard time following along your post.

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