Nearly ruined a marriage, and my life

About 4 years ago I had an affair with the husband of an acquaintance of mine. It went on for a couple months. I knew things were tense between them, and that they were having trouble conceiving.

To make matters worse, I got pregnant after we were a little casual about condom use. I told him and waited a couple weeks to figure out my options, but he decided to tell her about the affair and my pregnancy--I know she was devastated. He then came to me and said he wanted to leave her and raise our child together.

I avoided him until the next week when I had an abortion, then texted him after explaining it would never work.

I've heard they've since split up, but probably for many reasons. It was a rough time, but I'm proud of the life I have today and may have a kid with the right person one day.

Sep 9, 2018

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  • You sound Evil as f***!! I hope to never come across you in my lifetime.
    Wow you ruin a marriage and purposely get pregnant... then abort the baby. This must be the real Satan posting this.

  • Everyone makes mistakes. The magnitude of specific mistakes vary amongst individuals.

    My point is, no one can change what mistakes they've made. However, to learn from them is all we can do.

    I've always believed, there's no excuses and justifications for adultery. But that's only my personal opinion regarding adultery itself, I'm not judging you.

  • You’re pretty much the worst human being I’ve ever heard of. Break up his marriage and ruin his mind, murder an unborn child. Karma will visit you one day trust me

  • I agree with you, but Karma doesn't exits, Obama will never pay for arming ISIS

  • Exist is the correct word, you were looking for.

  • I. don't, know: where! you~ learned * * * how" to -- punctuate; but( they_ taught{ you' all . . . wrong?

  • Sad you value your comfort more than life you selfish..

  • That's just a stupid, mindless observation. And wrong.

  • If I have this right: you decided to invade a closed relationship and have a sexual affair with someone else's husband. Then, one time you decided NOT to use contraception, and after he said he wanted to keep the child, you made the decision without his input to get rid of the child. Now they're split up. You can rationalize it however you want, you can blame other factors, but he was ready to leave her, and that was a factor you contributed. It would not be unfair to put blame on you unlike what the title of your post suggests, and your growth as a person came at the cost of their happiness. On the flip side, what would have ruined your life, having the child? Because it sounds like you're comparing the heartbreak over the death of their relationship (forget the man for a minute and think about her, it wasn't hard for you 4 years ago) with an unplanned pregnancy. I would not be proud of that mess if I were in your shoes.

  • It takes two to have an affair. The married man had a choice and he chose to betray his marriage vows/wife. The person he had an affair with, was also at fault. She knew he was married and chose to pursue him. They were both at fault, the married man more so, than the mistress. Because he was a taken man already and the mistress was single I assume. However, two wrongs don't make a right.

    Regarding the mistress having an abortion, it was unfortunate. The choice should've in my opinion been made by both parties. However, what's done is done. Her choice was to abort. Whether we agree or disagree regarding our personal opinions about abortion and adultery, is irrelevant. Because it's none of our business, so why care? As long as we follow our individual moralistic paths and not others, that's all that matters, isn't it?

  • Judgmental jerkoff.

  • Absolutely. I hope to be measured by the same standard as well.

  • It's interesting to see the emotional intensity about abortion. My wife and I met and married in the catholic church which has a strong stand on the sanctity of life. We participated in many discussions about life and the rights and responsibilities of husbands and wives.

    Our belief is that the woman does not have the right to kill a baby even if the baby is the result of rape.

    Now we also understand that trying to impose this view on others or imposing any view on others just does not work.

  • It's not about imposing ones views on others, especially when it's that guys baby too.
    It's about the fact that she killed his child without even talking to him about it.
    How would you like it if your wife got pregnant and decided to get an abortion without talking to you because she didn't want the child?
    I would say your voice of reason is flawed when you're not including ALL factors.

  • Agree to disagree, everyone's opinions differ from each others. We're individuals, after all :) One love and respect my fellow brethren.

  • Thanks for being the voice of reason.

  • Marriage has become utterly irrelevant. Don't worry about what happened. It's nothing. And you did nothing wrong.

  • I think you are a horrible person. You terminated HIS child without talking to him about it. What gives you the right to make that decision alone? And don't tell me it's because it's your body. Because if it were reversed and you decided to keep the child, you would expect him to pay child support saying it takes two to make a baby. Well, it takes two to make a baby and he had every right to want his child. You are nothing more than a s***, baby killing feminist b**** who needs to burn in h*** for killing his child.

  • Would you feel better if she were made to wear a scarlet letter? Say, maybe an "S"? Or a "B"?

  • She's a baby killing w****. She should be hanged.

  • The world is very lucky that you don't get to make any important decisions.

  • Yeah, it's too bad that whores like this woman can legally kill a baby and get away with it.

  • It's not a killing because it's not a baby. Who says so? The Supreme Court says so.

  • You should ask the father if it would be killing his child. Oh wait, you can't because she took that right away from him.

  • He doesn't have any right. Who says so? The Supreme Court says so.

  • OP here--I don't really care about y'all's opinions about what I do with my life. Seriously, don't act like your gf or wife hasn't had a pregnancy scare at some point in her life, whether or not it was with you. S*** happens, you just deal with it. I'm better about using birth control and condoms, but if it happened again I'd do the same damn thing, because I love s**, but don't want to be pregnant or raise a kid.

    Thanks to those of y'all that are kind.

  • You should have never had s** if you didn't want to get pregnant. And when you did, you didn't even have the decency to talk to the guy about it. You don't want to get pregnant, DONT F******

  • Wow, apparently they censor s e x lol

  • When you are having an affair, enjoy the ride Enjoy his attention his gifts the exciting s**. Just don't think you are wife material. I

  • Have you dated any married men since him?

  • Their divorce wasnt your fault.if his wife had been taking care of business at home he wouldnt have come to you

  • Tut tut lol

  • I agree. My wife spent years freezing me out. AT first I did not recognise it. Now I am a bit angry at myself for staying so long.

  • …...your lucky...…… addition to wrecking their lives (don't rationalize: your interference in their marriage was certainly a factor in its ending, notwithstanding that it lasted awhile longer) you could have wrecked your own...………………...and you came close to doing that anyway...………..learn your lesson...……. find a man of your own...….stop taking your friends' husbands...……… there are enough other men around that you don't need to steal theirs...………………………….....admit it...….you just liked the fact that you were enticing another woman's man to come get between your legs...…...your a w**** (you still are even though you stopped being a w**** with him)…….. and you need to completely stop that...…..TODAY...… next time you wont be so lucky...… me...… i know what i am talking about...……...

  • Omg ".trust me...… i know what i am talking about...…….." lol. what a tool, bet you'd turn down tight young p****.

  • ...oh...…. i see your thought i was a man...… may have even thought YOU were one...…..

  • For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing under the circumstances you were given. You weren't the cause of their split: they did that (and caused it) on their own. I wish you only the best, in life and in parenting. I think you'll be a great wife, and a great mother. You're already a great person.

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