Don't know what to do.

Last night my husband and I were at a friends place for Halloween, We had traveled "Back home", My home town not his, Our friends don't have any kids and ours are young so we were able to take them out early, We had taken ours trick or treating around mom and dad's neighborhood then dumped out all their candy and went through it before mom put on a movie and my husband and I went to our friends for drinks.
We were there by around 9:30 ish and everyone was partying pretty hard, We went to the bar until about 1:00, Met up with my younger sister and her husband who came back to my friends with us and by 1:30 or so my husband who is a total lightweight was wasted and had passed out in the recliner and my friend was trying hard to get us to stay and party with them, I texted my parents and asked if they were ok with us staying and she was good with it so we put some props on my husband and took some funny pictures.
I don't even know what time I went to bed but we had done a lot of tequila shots and eventually I had to go to bed, I remember falling out of my chair and that was when I decided I should shut it down, I wandered off and down to the spare room. I had not planned on staying the night so didn't bring anything to wear but at that time had 0 cares. I stripped off my makeshift costume and tossed it to the side, Peeled off my bra and crawled under the covers which is when things went sideways.
I was laying in bed trying to stop my world from spinning when I heard the door open, I assumed it was my husband and really didn't put any other thought toward it, I had tried the one foot on the floor and every other old wives tale to stop the room and the only thing that seemed to be working was laying face down, I was literally on the verge of passing out completely when I felt another body crawl into bed and snuggle up to me, Again assuming it was my husband I just laid there and had actually thought if I pretended to be asleep he may not try to get some which usually works out in his favor when I have been drinking but not when I have had that much, I am surprised I remember every detail because sometimes I don't if I have had a lot to drink, and yes I know it happened.
Unfortunately I felt a hand on my butt and at that moment I knew there was no getting out of it but figured if I just kept pretending to sleep he would give up, No luck, I felt him grab my bum a bit then felt a hand slide between my thighs and start rubbing me, At that point I figured ok lets just get it over with, I started grinding my hips a bit and felt him pull my thong to the side, I felt him put some spit on his hand and rub me some more then a finger for a few seconds before I rolled to my side and pressed my butt against him, At the time if I would have had my senses I probably would have noticed something because my husband is very structured and our s** usually follows a "Routine" but he slid his hand under my right leg and lifted it, I reached back between my legs and grabbed him but he had his hand in there and I had my hand in there and I didn't really notice the size until he went to put it in, Thank god I was wet by that point but I remember when he pushed it into me I thought "Holy s*** he is hard, Good, Should be quick".
There were a lot of things that looking back I should have noticed but being as drunk as I was I didn't, Things like the fact that my husband seldom ever touches my b****, I was never large chested and at being in my early 40's with 4 kids my b**** are still small but now are empty and wrinkly, He never says anything but I don't think he has looked at them or touched them in probably a couple years and being self conscious about them I usually wear a shirt to bed even for s** and the "Nipple play" is probably what I miss most but I didn't have a shirt on and his hands were all over them, He was squeezing them and pinching and pulling my nipples which was all working in his favor.
He rolled me onto my stomach and had his hands under my chest slowly sliding in and out of me, Playing with my b**** and nipples and biting the nape of my neck, then slid a hand between my legs rubbing my little button and I couldn't hold out, I pushed my bum back against him and he pushed forward hitting a spot he doesn't normally hit, I would have pulled away but he had his arm around my waist and I remember my legs started shaking, then a full body shudder and I collapsed as I came, I remember just going limp and him holding me around the waist, I couldn't come anymore and pulled his hand off my waist, As I flopped down on the bed I felt a wet, Either finger or thumb on my butt which is also something that my husband hasn't even tried for in years and never really was my thing but I let it go hoping for a quick ending, He slid it in and then pushed his p**** deep in me and I felt him come, I haven't actually felt it in years, I know he does but haven't actually felt it in a long time but I felt it last night.
We laid there with him in me, Cupping and gently massaging my b**** rolling my nipples between his fingers and I must have passed out post coital because I woke up somewhere around an hour later because it was still the middle of the night, There was a huge wet spot which is what woke me up and after sneaking to the bathroom and cleaning up still naked I came back, Tossed a towel over the wet spot and passed out.
I woke up an hour ago and am losing my s***, I got my underwear off the floor, looked for my bra and couldn't find it, Went through the closet and found an acceptable outfit to put on (T-shirt and some shorts), As I said my b**** are not great and I normally would never go braless in front of anyone but I looked for my bra for a long time and I know for a fact I had one on the night before, I snuck upstairs and my brain froze when I got to the living room and my husband was still passed out in the recliner exactly as I had left him, An empty bottle of tequila in his arms, Pirate hat and eye patch still on and reclined all the way back. I stopped and stared at him for a minute, My brain started to function again and I was like "WTF!!!", Did he come back up here and pass back out, I really never even contemplated the thought that it may have been someone else.
My friends husband walked into the living room and chuckled which startled me a bit but he walked up beside me and looked at my husband and laughed, He looked at me and said "I need coffee" and went to the kitchen as I stood there trying to figure out and recall what had happened but the fog was soooo thick, I wandered into the kitchen and asked if my friend was awake and he said "Pffft, Yeah probably around noon, I don't even know when she went to bed, I should have know better than to do tequila shots, I spent the night wrapped around the toilet and had to clean up puke this morning".
He made a pot of coffee and I was so hung over and my brain was so foggy that I had forgotten I wasn't wearing a bra until I caught him looking but it had already been half an hour and I was into my second cup of coffee so I just excused myself and went back to look for my bra, Again I couldn't find it and ended up grabbing a sweater to add a layer which didn't hide much better and it was still totally obvious but I didn't care really, I was kind of searching for answers, I checked the bed again and the wet spot was definitely come, I stripped the bed, Checked the entire room and my bra is gone, Like disappeared.
I am still sitting here in my room trying to think, I remember who was here last night, There were three other couples that we have known forever, plus my sister and her husband. My friend who's house we stayed at has told me before that her husband is not "Big" plus he was passed out puking and I think I remember him being in the bathroom before I even went downstairs so that leaves three possibles, I think my sister and her husband were talking about leaving when I went downstairs and just judging by his physical build I don't think he would be "Large", So that leaves 2 one is pretty muscular which I think I would have noticed but the other I have seen one time and don't remember being overly impressed.
I know I should be angry, I should be furious, I should be sitting here crying but...I'm not, I'm lost in a sea of emotions right now but angry is the least of them, I would never cheat, Never but...What happened last night hasn't happened in a while, I haven't came like that since I don't know when and I seriously don't know if I ever have, I know it was wrong...I know it was disgusting...I know it was literally a crime...I know whoever it was cheated...And I know whoever it was is not fixed, My husband is and we have not used protection since before our first baby so now I have a whole new set of concerns, If any of my friends husbands had been fixed i'm sure they would have said so and none ever have, 2 of my friends have had it done but the other still uses condoms and my sister and her husband are still trying to get pregnant.
That leaves me with this, Do I tell my husband, If I do he is probably going to beat the s*** out of all of them just to make sure, Do I bring it up to my friends, What if I don't tell my husband and end up pregnant, Then what. How do I bring it up and not have a meltdown, I should have a meltdown, I should freak out, but...I'm not.

3 Comments

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  • Can you give us an update please?

  • Really you wrote a f****** novel who's going to read all that s***. I'm going to wait for it come out in theaters.

  • That’s really a sad occurrence. Although it may have felt good at the time it was totally wrong in all aspects. What if this guy got you pregnant or gave you some STD? If you wait too long no one will believe you. Some dude took advantage of you which is similar to being raped. I wouldn’t call these people friends but animals

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