Depression

I've battled depression for years. I'm the one that posted a while ago saying I can't stop thinking of my ex boyfriends even thought I'm in a happy relationship with 3 kids.
I'm always up all night. I never sleep.
It finally hit me just now. The bottom line for my depression and my desire to die. It sounds stupid but... I just want to mean something. To somebody.
I only see my family a couple of times a year. My boyfriend works long hours so he comes home, eats and goes to bed.
The weekends when he's home, hes on his computer with his friends.
My eldest two kids are teenagers and barely say two words to me. My youngest is only 2 and isn't company.
My only friend only talks to me when her other friends are busy.
I'm alone. I've been alone for 15 years.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that nobody cares about me.
If I died, nobody would notice till dinner was late.
Nobody gives a s***.
I sit crying almost every night on my own in the dark with s*** on tv just wishing someone would notice me.
Sounds selfish I know.
I just want someone to care. Anybody

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11 Comments

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  • Im sorry you feel alone come chat

  • I totally understand. It is so so lonely.

  • Some people are just born to re pay for past life

  • There are many groups for mothers with young kids. Find one and join one. You will find you have much in common with them and make new friends. You need to take some action yourself instead of wallowing in self pity.

  • I feel sorry for you I would want to talk with you to make you feel better do you have some social apps or email can you give me ?

  • I remember your last post, you are not the only one living meaning less life. I want to be productive, want to meet new people but we are cursed to live like this way. I wish i could share your pain. I have lots of love to give but no one is there. Just like you people approach me with their need. I love you wherever you are

  • Im here if you would like to chat. im sending my love and huggs. you and op are worth so much xxx

  • Thank you, do you suffer like us...

  • I take that as you would rather not talk with me. all the best for the futore huggs babe...

  • Im male and have being abused from age 8 till allmost 13 years old. i dont pretend to know what yous go through. but i tried to commit suicide a copil of times. last time i took tablets and drink. i woke up in hospital three days later and was in pyscreatic hospital for nine weeks. i apolagise for my spellings and i left school before i was fourteen years old. most of my relationships end up failing. last woman i was with was. we were allmost seven years together and had booked everything that goes with getting married. i hope it does not put yous of that im male and i will respect it if you wish not to reply. but im here if you wish to chat. i do know what its like to be alone and feel unwanted and feel un loved. best wishes to you babe xxxx

  • Im here if you would like to talk. huggs xxxx

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