Accidentally shat on my daughters bed

Never in my life have I not trusted a fart.

Until a few days ago.

I had a kebab and all was good, by the time I was putting the rubbish in the bin, I was starting to fart, and they smelt exactly like kebabs, I found this funny, although my wife did not!

Later on it was the kids bedtime (they had dinner whilst I was at work and didn't have a kebab, we feed them healthy!) and I put them to bed, my daughter had a school book she was reading and I said I'd read it to her to finish it off.
So I sat on her bed, legs stretched out and started reading.
Towards the end of the book I let out a small fart, no smell and was quiet. Result I thought.
Last few pages and I feel another one brewing, okay, I've got this, and I push it out, feels a little wet, but the raspy loud noise, and length of it didn't cause me alarm, I apologised to her and carried on reading.
Book finished, I get up and then realise something doesn't feel right. I quickly go to the bathroom, take down my jeans, and yep, I'd followed through big time!!!
My boxers were caked in it, acting as a filter collecting the lumps whilst my jeans had the brown water all inside, I sat on the bog and powershat, it was everywhere, up my back, b****, thighs, pretty much when a new born makes a mess in their nappy😳
I called my wife and she was in shock and laughter, then suddenly said, wait, you were on her bed? And ran to her room, on her duvet, where I was sat, was a clear watery stain, the jeans acting as a final strainer collecting the brown.
I cleaned myself up and helped strip her bed, she was asking why it was happening and I said that I had some chocolate in my back pocket I'd forgotten about and it had melter.
Poor thing, I'll probably tell her when she's older about how I shat myself whilst reading her a bedtime story!
Took me a while to trust my farts again!

Dec 9, 2019

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