I regret parenthood
I used to have a nice life. Good job, loads of money, doing anything I wanted. I’m an outgoing introvert. Really funny, good friends and colleagues. But also phone off for the weekend, hiking, reading a book. When everyone around me started to whine about my singlehood, I met The guy. He is amazing! (Very extravert btw). And so it began. Living together, luckily I work nights and weekends and he is a pilot so still enough alone time. Life without kids was unimaginable for us, so here we go: pregnant and baby. Postpartum was h***, never felt so alone and miserable (he apologises now for not being there more). Made a happy dance going back to work.
But still, it’s relentless. The getting up at night and early in the morning, the mountains of household shores in between shifts. The only alone time I get is when I in between work and day care is open and that’s when I do all the housework. All my hobby’s have evaporated. There’s nothing left. In hindsight I should’ve stayed single, never had a kid. And I feel so guilty about these feelings. Don’t get me wrong I’m a great mom and I love my kid, but this was not how I imagined it.
Thanks for letting me vent.