Drunken lawn mowing

So I got totally hammered and for whatever reason decided it was a good idea to mow the lawn in the middle of the night. It was 3 AM. The thing was that it wasn’t even my lawn but my neighbor’s.

Now, trust me, I was in full blackout mode. I had no idea what the h*** I was doing. Well my neighbor came out and said “wtf are you doing!” And a few other people called the cops because by that time I was mowing down a few people’s flowerbeds.

I came to my senses a little but played it cool and told people to relax. The cops kinda p***** me off though, and we got into it and I punched the officer. So he turns off my mower and throws me into the squad car after which I got sick and threw up.

The rest of the night was a blur. I’m thinking there was a full cavity search and my ass was sore and leaking fluid the next morning , but I still can’t believe people got upset about a little night time mowing.

Feb 26, 2020

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  • Pinnacle of white trash right here. Congratulations on being a complete ass clown.

  • Where did OP state they were white? RACIST!!

  • I love it. I took over my mom's lawn, almost an acre, and it always took a couple hours. She had been placed in an Alzeimer's facility and it was too expensive to hire a lawn service. Her big old Toro riding mower was equipped with cup holders (big mistake Toro) and I was equipped with 3 twenty ounce cans of malt liquer. It was 100 degrees that day. To my great credit I only destroyed 3 in-ground sprinklers and also learned how to fix them quickly. I felt it was a wonderful learning experience; not about avoiding malt liquer but about sprinkler repair! Carry on brother, the only way to avoid these situations is to install artificial turf.

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