Singles Awareness Day

When I was younger, I thought I was madly in love with my first crush (like we all do). That was around the time when reputations started forming that follow us all through school. Well, I got the reputation for being a nerd. Three years later, the girl likes me, and we go out (even though I have gotten over her a long time ago). I really did it to have a girlfriend, and we broke up shortly thereafter. Four more years go by where I have a huge crush on a girl way out of my league. I finally get over her, and now I like a girl in my group of friends. I'm cripplingly insecure, and I can't say anything to her, and I have been so lonely for so long and I watch as all the people around me strike up serious relationships. I've got a great family and good group of friends (who range from great to frenemy), but I have never had a meaningful relationship, due to my utter inability to act on crushes. Even if I did ask her out, it would throw everything all out of whack. If she said no, all future parties would be really awkward because she, like I said, is in my group. School would be awkward (she's in some of my classes), and extra-curriculars would be awkward. I want to disrupt the status quo which has been unfulfilling, yet comfortable (if that makes sense), but I'm terrified to do so. I take risks in other parts of my life, why the h*** can't I do it with this?

Jul 8, 2010

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  • awe, this is not gay, its sad.
    i've been there.

    =[
    & have no clue of how to help you.

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