I want advice from strangers

OK so I am 20 right now. When I was younger I was builled because I was awkward and not from the UK I came here when I was 4. I hated school and I grew up not really confident and started to eat to fill the hole in my heart. I am now 111kg at 176 cm which means I am obese. I hate myself and my body. Because of my growing up as a child and teen I kept a lot to my self to the point I won't tell my parents anything that happens in my life because its awkward and I don't like how they will react to it. I don't feel a big amount of love to my parents, I do love them but more of in a way of I appreciate that you are here and love me and care for me. I know I have caring and loving parents however I just can't be open with them. I am way more open with my bf than them and I can't even muster the courage to go up to my parents and full explain my relationship to my bf, they know I'm gay and see him tho I never really confirmed it in my own words which bothers me. They also struggle with money a lot and English which means from the age of around 12 I think I have had to speak and do legal documents for them because of it. It gets annoying sometimes to always be relied on Im only 20 now tring to figure out my life. I'm obese I'm depressed I'm sad and have like no friends. I hate myself and don't have the motivation to do anything to improve. I want to know what people thing I could do or just about the situation. I belive that sometimes other people's views can give some clearance on my opinions. I am also thinking about therapy but it's expensive and I don't think I can afford it, I applied for free therapy but the wait ques are months even years I think

Mar 30, 2020

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