Trapped and sad
I want to get out of my relationship but I know there is a 99% I won't find anything better. To leave now would be idiotic, our lives are so wrapped up at this point. He loves me so much and would do anything for me. It breaks my heart. But I don't love him. I don't even know if I can love anyone? I feel so passive all the time and I wish I didnt. I fell no desire. There are so many things that are wrong. I don't even know if I want kids, he wants kids and assumes I'll have a change of heart.
I want to move. Far away. I want to leave the country. and live a happy life. I hate my life here. I'm so trapped every day, and I know I could do what I wanted if I just had the guts to tell him I was leaving.