Trapped and sad

I want to get out of my relationship but I know there is a 99% I won't find anything better. To leave now would be idiotic, our lives are so wrapped up at this point. He loves me so much and would do anything for me. It breaks my heart. But I don't love him. I don't even know if I can love anyone? I feel so passive all the time and I wish I didnt. I fell no desire. There are so many things that are wrong. I don't even know if I want kids, he wants kids and assumes I'll have a change of heart.
I want to move. Far away. I want to leave the country. and live a happy life. I hate my life here. I'm so trapped every day, and I know I could do what I wanted if I just had the guts to tell him I was leaving.

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  • Leave! You're doing no one any good staying. What your doing is worse than cheating. Do not have kids!

  • DONT have kids if you don't feel the urge to. So many women feel pressured to have kids, and a lot of them end up hating parenthood.

    You will be stuck where you are for most of the rest of your life if you have kids with him and settle down. Which isn't always bad. But you will never know what would have happened had you chosen another route.

    If he truly loved you, he would be fine with having kids if you don't want to. If he would leave you over kids, then he only loved the idea of what you would be. And if you have kids and you aren't how he was expecting you to be with the kids, your marriage and relationship will suffer. He may even want to leave. It might sound surprising, but I've seen this story before. A million times.

  • Happiness comes from within, first and foremost.

    Second, listen... it sounds like you could use some time to yourself to figure it out. Save up some money, and take a week to yourself. The answers will come.

  • Sounds like you said you did know what you want re reading it. So what is it that you want? And where is it in a different country....it would only be farther from everything you've created now. But you can recreate your now situation too. If you DO KNOW what you want, than God bless on your journey

  • Temple of God is within. If we don't go within we go without.... People tend to seek people out of an attempt to become happier through that person. When it seems in reality flesh is insatiable, we get hungry only to eat again...now as for " no desire " sit somewhere out in public maybe the steps of a store...and do nothing but sit there. You will find soon that you do desire things , maybe it's that you don't want to be sitting there anymore, well that's a desire. Maybe you get thirsty and want to find a drink, that's a desire...familiarize yourself with what your true desires are....right now you desire a way out. An escape....but that desire will only follow you. If you desire escape there is no escaping that desire. So find what you really desire. Insanity is trying the same thing expecting different results. They say tomorrow will be different but it's the same sun, same sky maybe different weather. God bless , and may your ultimate truths be found.

  • Do something. Start small. But make a goal and see it through. Then work up to harder stuff. Work up to things you thought impossible. What will happen is you will see your power and your strength. You will find your curiosity. And maybe, just maybe, you will see that you deserve the opportunity for happiness and leave. and BTW, once you are gone, you will grow and no longer be bothered by the small mindedness of others. You will pity them, then forget them....because you have a life to lead.

  • My previous marriage ended like this. My wife was unhappy which at the end I could tell. There was no cheating or violence, she just didn't love me anymore or the she was in.
    She never told me but I could see in her actions so I brought it up which seemed a weight off her shoulders. It was hard for me splitting up but I accepted it. Now I have a family. She moved to Australia where she has a new life and career and due to remarry I'm told. So yes leaving is hard but it can lead to better times.

  • Lie back open your legs and let it happen.
    My wife did that.
    I never realized until about 20 years into the marriage that she was unhappy.
    She had gone 20 years unhappy but not saying it or maybe I was too deaf to hear her. Either way, I had no idea.
    4 years later and she left me.
    So stop waiting. Say it loud. Say it often. If he doesn't hear then up and go.

  • I am in a similar situation. I am trying to figure it out too

  • Sounds like it is impossible to make you happy. Find a guy with a few friends and be their s** slave, then at least you'll be useful to somebody.

  • That's ridiculous too.

  • Learn to love yourself and leave.
    I love the only person that I know will love me forever, the only person I will ever trust. I couldn't be happier. I known I'm right. I need nobody.

  • Then leave dumbass

  • Don't have kids! Get a boyfriend/

  • You should seek out a therapist, that may help a lot. Sounds like you're depressed. In one sentence you say you won't find anything better and in another you want to escape. The problem and the solution lies with you - until you deal with whatever you're dealing with, your demons will continue to follow. First, you can leave. If you are that unhappy and your relationship is beyond repair or you just want out, start planning how you are going to leave. It may be difficult at first but you'll figure out a way to make it work. You don't need to jump from one relationship to another. You can be okay on your own. And finding another relationship isn't going to fix what's wrong. If you don't want kids or want kids with your current SO - DON'T. Life is short, you need to figure out what you want to do.

  • My wife left me a couple of years ago and I feel empty and depressed. The other day, while picking up my kid for their week with me, I said to her that she seemed to be handling this a lot better than me. her response was to tell me that she had had many more years to process it than me. This and other conversations has confirmed that she decided somewhere between 5 and 10 years ago that she wanted out. Problem was she did not say so. So I spent all that time trying to be the perfect husband and father. Nothing I could do would ever have brought her back.

  • Why did you marry him you silly woman

  • It's sad. She would have it in her mind: I don't wanna be single. This guy comes along. She leads him on knowing full well she doesn't love him and he's all lovey dovey fooling himself and sadly he enters into a relationship not realizing she has her own internal conflicts and she has needs which she's not attuned to providing so he's basically a care giver. So selfish.

  • Way to common that women stay for his paycheck

  • Just imagine your life if you don't leave. More anxiety and unhappiness.

  • This is the opposite side of my unwanted confession. I’m in a relationship where my wife doesn’t seem to want me despite everything I do for her. Trust me, maybe he’s hoping you’ll do it so it’ll spare him the trouble. All I know is you need to be happy, or he will never be. If you keep putting it off, you’re just prolonging the inevitable for both you, and denying both of you try happiness.

  • Follow your heart. Don't have kids to fix a relationship it won't work and is selfish- think of kids.

    Just be honest with yourself and without kids leave how ever you have to, just go follow your heart

  • Are people FINALLY starting to realize making a baby to solve problems is a really, really stupid move?? If I had any faith in humanity left, that might have restored it a little

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