I'm a lesbian, but I'm afraid that I'm starting to like men.
I came out with my girlfriend when we were both sixteen, a few years ago. While we are both femmes, she's pretty clearly either a lesbian or very alternative to anyone that sees her. I, however, am a little more preppy and traditionally feminine.
Now, to be competely honest... I'm kinda dumb. I'm a blondie, and you know what they say about us lol. But seriously, I'm not booksmart, and I might come off as silly, in an endearing way. Because of that, I've just kinda always agreed with my girlfriend, who is a liberal, very feminist and a little man-hating... But I never reflected a lot on her opinions, opinions that for a long time I've considered mine as well.
Despite being a lesbian, I never stopped appreciating handsome men. To me it was very much like appreciating art: You do it indirectly, it's not like you get turned on by a painting. Because obviously, I only like women, right?
Unfortunately, my gf got stuck on her parent's house in another state during this whole quarantine and I've spent a lot of my time in some chatrooms, theoretically innocent and all that. I befriended a guy there and we soon started to play together and talk through discord, and after a few weeks, he asked if I had a facebook. I sent him my profile and soon enough, he started to shower me with compliments.
I say thanks, and mention that my gf agrees too, and then... He seems surprised that I'm a lesbian. From there, from time to time, he'd drop hints of his opinions: That no women is really gay because there's no biological reason for that, that at best a women might love another platonicaly, that any women that makes out or has s** with other womer are unconsciously doing it for men's attention. At first I might have gotten a little mad here and there, but with time, not wanting to lose his friendship, I guess I actually started to consider it?
It makes some sense, right?
I like p*** lot, but I've always only watched lesbian p***. But not I decided to watch some straight p*** and, where the woman is treated like a s***, being disrespected and all of that, and it turned me so much. It felt, like... Proper, you know? It felt kinda right.
And d****... I've always been so disgusted by them, but I dunno, now I just... Get kinda hungry when looking at them.
S** with my girlfriend has always been so soft, so nice, but now, everytime that she starts yapping about wage gap and all that stuff I just get kinda annoyed, you know? Like she never showers me with attention, with l***.
So... Yeah. I don't know. I still love her, but I don't know.