Is It Best To Keep This A Secret?

I'm a feminine gayboy and a student, called a pretty boy by some. I'm not openly gay at school but some suspect I am given comments made about me, how I look and speak to others'. I walk home from school which takes me through a wooded path between two streets which shortens my trip. Other's use this path also. Last week after school I was stopped by three older boy's on this path, one boy said to me that he knew I was gay and wanted me to blow him and the other two boy's. I started to walk away when he grabbed and held me saying, come on you'll like it while the other boy fully exposed himself hard. I was affraid and said to not tell anyone. I let the one boy take me further into the woods away from the other two boy's where I did what he wanted. When I was doing that the other two boy's came to where we were, one taking his pants off. They both then took my clothes off, I was so affraid and let them do it. For over an hour these three boy's took their sexual pleasure with each of them penetrating me like a girl. I know these senior boy's, one even has a girlfriend.
They're active in school sports and well liked. I must admit that I always found them to be nice toward me at school and really cute older boy's. After this happened while in the woods, one boy kissed me and the other two were really sweet with me. When at school these boy's now will talk to me in the hall, even lunch. I so like this and find myself conflicted as to whether these boy's actually forced themselves sexually on me that day or was I just affraid, because I didn't initiate the sexual desire myself. After that day in the woods being with these boy's, I feel so good having been sexual with them, I even go over and over in my mind what happened that day and feel it to be sexually arousing. I'm I wrong in feeling this way? These boy's like me and what good could come of this if anyone knew?

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  • You were raped. They don't really like you that way. If they did, they wouldn't force you to have s** with them in seclusion. The problem with these type of people is that they will hurt you physically if you were to tell your friends about what they did to you.

  • If this is what happened, I wonder why it is that I sometimes become aroused when I think about it, even feel good in school when they talk to me while other's are around. I was scared, really scared at first because all I could think of was that it was going to really hurt, that they would do it really hard like another boy did it to me. I guess what I mean is that my feelings were feelings of the unexpected of what was to happen. I've dated a few boy's, they were bi-boy's older than me, two of them penetrated me by holding my legs open but I really gave in to it after awhile, they kept asking me to let them. Even then I accept this as what gayboy's have to do. I would never tell anyone what happened because I'm gay and no one knows. With so many gayboys' it's really about getting him in bed and I think most other people think that also.

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