My first sort of ex girlfriend

This story is gonna be all over the place, just a warning. at the beginning of high school i met this girl. we had lots of fun times and talked all the time for over 2 years. but during the last 6 months of us talking, she became very distant and very standoffish. she wouldn't reply how she used to reply and wouldn't answer any of my phone calls. she came into my life in a time when i thought i couldn't be alive anymore. she helped save me from myself. i think she knows she broke me, she just doesn't know to what extent. she was the best part of my life, even though the entire time we were talking it seemed like i was just a game to her, she made me happy. she was dating other people and it hurt to watch, but i always thought we would end up together. when she told me she was using me so she could say she had "more friends" than someone else, it started the road to the deepest and hardest mentally exhausting part of my life i have ever been in. it made me loose all confidence i once had in myself; i lost the ability to trust people; i lost the ability to show how i really felt. i told her everything about my family problems and my mental health. she knows more about me than i think my parents do. she was my person and i felt like i lost everything the night she told me that i wasn't anything to her and was a p*** in her game to seem popular. it killed me to find out from all of her exes she had while we were talking that she was talking bad about me to them. she would call me horrible names and tell her exes that she was only talking to me so she could "get dirt" on my life. all of my friends at the time couldn't stand her and always told me there was something shady about her. i never believed them though because i was so over my head with my feelings towards her and i was confused with my sexuality at the time as well. she was the first person i came out to as bisexual. it made me feel like someone was actually caring about my feelings for once and that i had someone to talk to who wouldn't leave me when they got what they wanted. i felt loved for the first time in a long time and it felt amazing. i always had a smile on my face when we talked on the phone or texted each other and my family could see me coming out of my shell with her, which was something i didn't do with anyone. i didn't know this at the time, but looking back on it i fell in love with her. when we stopped talking altogether, i felt lost. i felt like i didn't have anyone to go to anymore and it broke me. i felt the most alone i had ever felt in my life. all of my friends were so happy when i had told them i had stopped talking to this girl and they were so confused on why i was so depressed. except for one person; she let me vent about the relationship i had with this girl. she was the one who really made me think about my feelings toward this girl and it was then when i realized i was in love with her.

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