It Was Sad but I Glad I Broke Up with My Girlfriend

I was in a romantic relationship with a girl back in college.
We dated around three years.
We were fans of role-playing during **.
And since we watched a lot of diverse kind of ** together, we pretty much got inspired by them.

One of the fetishes that I have never tell my girlfriend was cuckold pregnancy. Cuckolding in general is something I had always deny liking it. Responding with disgust. But since we were very sexually active, we progress kind of fast in what kind of role-play we were doing. And asking her to try an open relationship was something I nearly slipped from my mouth. My romantic side even told me that it would be nice if she would have the chance to taste an ** sexual **, since she and I were first lovers both on our sides, and I seemed to not able to make her reach it. Honestly, I kind of obsessed about it. The image of kissing her when she had her first ** always a turn on for me. I found myself questioning what kind of face she's going to make if it did happen.

Anyway, I'm consider myself lucky now. I was aware and conscious enough that there is going to be a lot to take, and be responsible with open relationship. I could hold back telling her anything related to open relationship and cuckolding. I realize the dynamic of open relationship is not for me.

Also, breaking up from her led me to understand that I was a ** addict, and was a very insecure person. I think that was why I have a thing for open relationship. I want to watch her at the time doing a sexual act with a person who could make her ** just like the female partner in **.

Stopping **, taking care of my life healthy, and learning that I can learn to give my lover an ** without the reliance to my genital, and without other's, were also helping with insecurity.

Up to now, we were not getting back together. Both of us already moved on. At least, the positive thing I can take is both of us didn't end up being stuck with a family that based on my fetish. Pregnancy is a big thing, and I don't think I will ever be fine taking care of a child that my wife had with someone else.

If she was having the child from previous marriage, it would be a different thing. But if she's having it in front of me with someone else, for me, and I let it be happened? Oh, man, I will regret it for life.

I don't think I'll ever have emotional bond with the child either.

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