I confess that at this moment I am wearing a gorgeous matching set of lingerie; panties, bra, and camisole. They are nylon tricot, pink, and smothered in lace. Over them, unfortunately, I am wearing jeans and a sweater. I am a married, closet crossdresser in my 50’s and have been dressing in lingerie since I put on my first pair of panties at age 6. Thank you for reading this confession and my wife and I appreciate your caring, acceptance, and understanding. If this current epidemic has taught us anything it is that life is far too short to spend it judging others. Love and be loved and live in peace.
Only a select few women have known about my cross dressing. A special girlfriend in middle school who had me try on everything in her closet over those three years, two girls in in H.S. who taught me a lot about clothes and who helped me discover who I was, a few in college who allowed me to more fully explore my second self, my first wife, and my current wife who is an angel sent from heaven. My first wife found out about it after we were married (big mistake on my part and totally selfish of me), when I “let” her discover me sleeping in a beautiful multi-colored full slip of hers. She was horrified and screamed a lot. She asked if I was gay (wasn’t and aren’t), how long I have doing this (since age 6 and I tried on my first pair of lacy, nylon panties covered in flowers), and why I have been hiding it from her (I think that was self-explanatory as she spent the next few weeks screaming at me and telling me “sick and perverted” I was). We divorced shortly thereafter. She had already been sleeping with other men, using drugs, skipping work, etc., so the divorce wasn’t a shock to anyone, even though it had been less than a year. She did bring up my CDing in our mediation but it was obvious she was sleeping with her attorney so nothing came of it. Fortunately she did not follow through and tell everyone we knew, including family members, about it.
I made sure to share it with my current wife on the second date. She said she would prefer I wore my own lingerie and not hers, understandable, but she thought it was sexy that I wanted to “femulate” , and the third date ended up at the mall where we shopped for clothes for my second self; panties, half and full slips, camisoles, bras, nighties, dresses, etc. We even stopped at two specialty stores and bought a beautiful long-haired wig and some new high heels. I was in heaven, not just because of all of the clothes, but because my amazing and stunning girlfriend, soon-to-be-wife,, was shopping with me for my second self. We also bought some things for her as well. It was a truly fantastic 3rd date!
We have been married for 16 years now and we couldn’t be happier. Our s** life is amazing and the rest is pretty special as well. We have a in-home date night once a week where we both dress in pretty things and she wants me always in panties and a camisole every day, and a nighty in the evening. In exchange, I treat her like the queen she is. We both have worked out of our home for years now and some days we both dress up, other days we look like any other couple.
Not having to hide my second self, not having to purge my cache of clothing every few years because I feel guilty, not having a partner who doesn’t understand, is wonderful. Being able to be the best person I can be, two merged into one, is wonderful. Being completely honest with my partner is the best thing in the world. I know I am lucky, not every wife/partner is as understanding. I lived through that once and never again. To any other crossdressers out there who are looking for a new partner, realize it is best to be honest from the start. It won’t work everytime but it only has to happen once, and there are many women out there who understand clothes are clothes. They do not define who you are, you do. Women wear suits, pants, and many other items of clothing once assigned by society only to men. It is estimated that 10% of married men are crossdressers. That’s a lot. The internet hadn’t been around long when I was a child so it was many years before I understood what crossdressing was all about, that I wasn’t broken, perverted, sick, confused, or twisted because I prefer to wear lingerie to boring tightie-whities. I wasn’t going to h*** because I liked to wear pretty , colorful, and oh so soft /silky clothing. I also learned that while it wasn’t understood by most people, (still isn’t but it’s better), there were women out there who not only would accept me as I am but were also excited by the idea of having their partner occasionally look very different. I know that being able to dress as I want in our home and even underdress when in public, hurts no one else and helps to make me a better partner, lover, friend, and husband. My family does not know, nor anyone in our orbit of friends. Not because I am ashamed of it but because even though the world is changing and becoming more accepting of alternative lifestyles, most people still look upon crossdressers as strange and confused men and boys. I confess that in the beginning? Yes, most of us are confused and for many it starts out as a sexual thing. But as the years roll on and the CD understands more about why they do what they do, the only confusion left is from other people who are quick to judge. My wife and I, like most married crossdressers, have a monogamous relationship, look like any other couple in public (on the outside anyway), are very happy, still very much in love, volunteer in our community, go to church every week, and for the most part are pretty much like any other couple.
I feel blessed to have her, make sure she knows that’s how I feel and I encourage any other CD’s out there not to hide your dressing from anyone you want to get serious with. It’s only fair to them that you are honest early on. She will either want to learn more and be understanding/accepting, or she won’t. But at least you won’t have to live your life hiding a big part of what makes you, you. Otherwise, it will eventually destroy your relationship. Women are extremely smart guys, smarter than us certainly when it comes to how people act/react. Secretive behavior will only lead to questions, hurt feelings, false assumptions, and separation/divorce.
Find someone who will accept you for you and then do the same for her and treat her like the queen she is! I am off to get dressed for our regular Sunday gathering of family. Covid has changed many things but not that. Only my wife will know that underneath my suit I will be wearing something very pretty; perhaps I will go with black lace today. Be safe everyone, wear a mask and save the lives of people around you, after all, everyone is hiding something.
~~~ a very lucky man indeed