"cheated" on a fwb that is my boyfriend now

My ex and I became fwb for a while. Many years had passed since we dated so I thought It would be no big deal. A few months later he asks us to be exclusive fwb (so no s** with other people). I agreed as casual s** with multiple people isn't my thing (or quite safe). He was going through a lot of heavy emotional problems (as was I) and I became sort of overwhelmed by it all as I was the main support system. I distanced myself for a bit and ended up having s** with someone else. I regretted it as I had broken our agreement and I denied any sexual encounters. At a time when he needed me the most, I wasn't there for him. Its been a year since we first started hooking up and 8 months since this all happened. We have eased into a comfortable partnership, but the guilt of "cheating" from our first agreement still fills me with guilt.

Nov 7

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  • Obviously, there is no such thing as "exclusive" FWB (except for a little institution called "marriage"). The fact that you two fools came up with such rank idiocy and thought you'd give it a go shows precisely how deluded both of you are, about relationships, about life, about the world, about yourselves, and about each other. It's natural that you're filled with guilt: you're a lying, cheating, unreliable sack of feces whose poorly-constructed self-justification crumbled in a mild breeze. Your behavior and rationalizing is abominable. The only "good" news is that, since he's as big an idiot as you are, he has certainly been cheating on you, too. Feel better?

  • Neither of you are mature anough to have a serious committed relationship. So stop trying to pretend to be grownups and just f*** like the dumb animals you are . . . . random nameless partners, and all in the outdoors. You loonies will never have normal lives because you aren't normal people. Your best and highest level of attainment -- if your very very lucky -- will never be more than pure trailer trash. When he needs you the most you will always be off f****** some other man . . . probably someone in his family. Or your own. But he will be able to count on you to be home when it's time to cook the next batch of meth. He will HAVE to. Cuz he don't know how.

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