Should I come out? And how?

I am a 15-year-old boy, and I like blokes a lot, but I’m still on the fence and reluctant to come out. I worry what my friends and family are going to say when they realise that I’m gay. Or at least I think I am. Gay.
When I think about it, I have been attracted to guys since sixth grade. I remember going to Bondi Beach in Sydney for the very first time, and I just couldn’t take my eyes off the lifeguards and their tiny blue Speedos. I didn’t make a big fuss about it then. In fact, I dismissed it – perhaps because my dad always seems so homophobic.
I have been on dates with a couple of girls, and I really like being around them, but I never get emotionally or physically attracted to them. Actually, I kind of become their friend and confidant. You see, girls don’t really turn me on. But perhaps I just haven’t met the right girl yet?
Six months ago, I started having fantasies about some of the guys from my rugby team. One in particular is a real s****! This has made me accept that I am attracted to guys. So, in a way I really want to come out, but I am also afraid to. I fear people will take the Mickey out of me and ridicule me, but at the same time it is hard for me not being able to tell anyone.
I really want to share this with my parents, but how do I lay this on them without upsetting them? I truly fear that my dad will get disappointed and give me h***. Or do you think I should stay in the closet until I am absolutely sure that I am gay? Please share your thoughts.

Nov 10, 2020

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  • I was thinking I might be gay back in High school. There was so much talk about it, and all of the stuff about gender and transgender equality it was difficult to not consider it.

    I wasn't doing very well with girls so by my junior year I decided to give it a try. Trust me, it isn't easy, how does one walk up to some guy and ask if they are gay?

    I heard of a bar in a nearby large city that was primarily for homosexuals, so I went there, even though I was too young to even be drinking yet. No problem, they served me and in no time I got picked up, I guess that is what it's called?

    We gave each other hand jobs and he sucked on me for a long time, but when he wanted me to suck on him I just couldn't

    So, I guess I am not gay, but it is still hard to find a girl for a relationship.

  • In the end you get to choose when you come out. If you think that there will be a negative reaction then hold off until you are ready or when you come of age and become financially independent.

    I am bisexual and had same s** relationships before I met my wife. I kept it a secret from my wife, parents, wider family and friends until my mid thirties. I regret it in way as they have all been so understanding and accepting. On one occasion I went out for drinks and a meal with 4 long term male friends and told them I was bisexual. In what I could only describe as a surreal moment, all of my friends then told me they all had same s** relationships in past and we spent the next couple of hours discussing them and men generally.

    I guess I am trying to say that most people who come out don't regret it, despite prior reservations. It feels so good to be yourself.

  • I feel bad for you cause everyone's kinda known about me since I was way littler. I'm 14 and everything is so cool like.

  • I truly feel your inner dilemma. However, if I was in your particular predicament, I would focus on more pressing matters like for example - Your education, being happy and healthy.

    Your sexuality is a private affair, between yourself. You shouldn't feel the need or/and pressure to disclose anything to your family about it. Does anyone come out and state to their family they're heterosexual? No, I can't imagine so. So why should you come out if you're gay? I believe in equality.

    Just live your life and if you meet someone in the future that you cherish, that you intend to spend the rest of your life with and you want them to be part of your family, then introduce them.

    If you require guidance, support and advice regarding it, speak to those you know you can trust or seek/join LGBTQI support groups online. I advice you, this website is not ideal for the particular support you maybe seeking, it's a little dysfunctional at times. Otherwise, good luck in life :)

    Remember to love, treasure and respect yourself. Never self-sacrifice who you're, for the sake others happiness and personal ideals of who you should be/date. Love thyself first and always :) Don't label yourself, it's too constrictive x

  • Queers should stay in the closet permanently and keep their perverted desires to themselves .

  • A person's individual sexuality, isn't a deciding factor that determines whether they're perverted or not. You're a irrevocable r*****, if you believe otherwise! This is common sense man!

  • If you think you're gay, you probably are (congrats!). I was terrified to come out until was 19, but being out allowed me to be myself finally and life got so much better and I wish I had done it sooner. I can't promise everyone will accept it, but to me it's nicer to know that people like you for who you truly are. That being said, if you think someonight hurt you or you might get kicked out, might be better to start with a few friends you trust. Best of luck!!

  • I am, still in the closet but gay. i have been gay for many years. i am, married to a woman and she totally accepts it. i have two relations and enjoy being gay.
    i bring my gay friends home and she accepts them.

  • Each to their own :) As long as you're happy and all parties concerned are, no one can judge you for your personal decisions and choices.

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