Should I come out? And how?
I am a 15-year-old boy, and I like blokes a lot, but I’m still on the fence and reluctant to come out. I worry what my friends and family are going to say when they realise that I’m gay. Or at least I think I am. Gay.
When I think about it, I have been attracted to guys since sixth grade. I remember going to Bondi Beach in Sydney for the very first time, and I just couldn’t take my eyes off the lifeguards and their tiny blue Speedos. I didn’t make a big fuss about it then. In fact, I dismissed it – perhaps because my dad always seems so homophobic.
I have been on dates with a couple of girls, and I really like being around them, but I never get emotionally or physically attracted to them. Actually, I kind of become their friend and confidant. You see, girls don’t really turn me on. But perhaps I just haven’t met the right girl yet?
Six months ago, I started having fantasies about some of the guys from my rugby team. One in particular is a real s****! This has made me accept that I am attracted to guys. So, in a way I really want to come out, but I am also afraid to. I fear people will take the Mickey out of me and ridicule me, but at the same time it is hard for me not being able to tell anyone.
I really want to share this with my parents, but how do I lay this on them without upsetting them? I truly fear that my dad will get disappointed and give me h***. Or do you think I should stay in the closet until I am absolutely sure that I am gay? Please share your thoughts.