Forced to be pervert

I am a weak , ordinary person with a simple desire of having a wife, home and children but I have no one to talk or walk with. Though, I use to be religious and use to ask them why I don't have these fruits of life and it was the same thing told to me "its your Karma"...I mean ok but to what extent shall I keep believing that one day destiny would smile on me. I can't fight these urges any more...I feel so helpless couples kissing each other and I have to just pass by . Recently, I have found a place where whores are available for me they are angels...I give them some money and they allow me rape them. Last encounter was really great as she completely swallow my manhood and I was about to c**. I never knew that my d*** can grow up to 7 inches. so I took turn and brutally entered her..it was painful for her and joyful for me. She was begging to go slow but I was frustrated and hungry just kept on being an animal...few minutes later I c** in her and collapsed...I came to my senses after some time and thanked her but she said that she would never come to a disgusting ahole like me...I went into the depression again. so no love and respect for me till I die...

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