TW!!!! My confession as a broken teen

I'm turning 14 in January, I've always been told that I'm too mature for my age though. It's probably because my childhood and innocence was stripped away from me due to trauma and horrible things, but that's a different story. Anyway, I have multiple kinks and I know I'm a little bit messed up in the head for a 13 year old. First of all, I'm extremely submissive and masochistic. I want to be choked and used roughly, I want bruises and scars, I want someone to starve me and hurt me and own me. I know it's abusive, but that's what I want. Unfortunately, other than my abusive father, the only people in my life are kind and not broken like me. I have a boyfriend, I love him very much, but he doesn't know about this side of me. I'm actually very shy and reserved due to my social anxiety so he would never guess I'm this weird. Sometimes I wish this disgusting side of me could just disappear, but I don't think it ever will. I wonder if someday I'll find someone to hurt me and own me. I don't mind if they act kind as long as they starve, hurt, and degrade me. Also, I know the whole starving thing might seem weird but I hate my body because I'm a (forced) recovered anorexic and I miss being underweight and fragile. I know I'm broken and strange, and I should be a happy kid but this is just who I am.

Dec 22, 2020

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  • Juat teach your bf to get into BDSM

  • I could help you with that, but I am a female. Would you mind having girl on girl?

  • I know someone who can help

  • You probably won't be able to get away from these feeling without acting them out. You need to find a guy who can treat you like you want to be treated, and usually it's older guys who are able to dish it out and responsible enough to keep you safe. A particular risk is starving you, since you have this eating disorder already, so it would need to be monitored to prevent you slipping into that pattern. Also, the ability to inflict pain and abuse and still remain kind is something younger guys usually don't have.

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