My boyfriend said he doesn't love me.
I'm tearing up as I write this. Recently money has been super tight so my boyfriend let me move in with him rent-free.
Yesterday I said "I love you" for the first time and he looked up from his book with just his eyes and did a half grin. I then asked if he loved me. He replied "I enjoy you. Love isn't a word I use for anyone besides my mother." I was stunned. He went back to his book casually. Without looking up, he said,
"have you ever read the book the giver?" I said yes.
"I go through life never depressed or sad but never really happy. It's quite peaceful. It's also kind of sad. I'm like the people in The Giver. Everything is in black and white"
"So you're saying you don't love me?"
He giggles as I started to tear. "You're one of my favorite people my love" then he gives me a kiss on the head and opens his arms signaling he wants to cuddle.
When I layed in his arms I got a warm feeling that he doesn't get from me. "Are you a psychopath?" I asked. He replied "I'm pretty sure. But don't worry, I don't hurt people or want to be abusive, that doesn't help anyone." I asked him if he would feel bad if he killed anyone and he said he's "get over it"
My boyfriend, who's a psychopath, will buy homeless people a cup of coffee and hold the door for old people. Like WTF? He let me move in with him without paying rent. He hasn't asked for a lot more s** in return (I usually ask). He'll ask me to cuddle with him.
He seems so mysterious now.