I don’t want to do this, but...

I get hard when thinking about sexually hurting kids like I was
I have a history of mental illness (5+ disorders) and was abused in several different ways as a kid, i was threatened about being raped many times by my father but he never actually did it (he did call up one of his friends who jacked off to me playing outside when i was 3 though)
If I close my eyes and imagine i’m going inside a child’s butt and they look at me and i hear their screams i come a lot easier
i don’t want to hurt any children, i don’t want them to go through that but i still have thoughts of using little kids like this as coping mechanisms
also i don’t intend to do any of this (just btw) and i’m a minor so...

Apr 19

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