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Sorry mom.
I am 40 and my husband is 44, My mom is 60 and a very vibrant 60 year old, Single all her life but by choice as she is a very attractive woman and even my husband says if he had to randomly guess he would say 45-50 if he met her on the street.
The other day me and her were on the phone and she asked if she could ask my opinion on something, I was laying in bed with my husband but didn't think that it would be anything he couldn't hear so I said sure, She said she had been trying something on and wanted my opinion so I told her to send me some pictures, She didn't want to and instead facetimed me, I accepted and she answered, Said "Ok, I need a second opinion" and set her phone on the counter and stepped back opening the towel she was wearing and she said "Ok, Don has been pushing for me to wear a bikini on our upcoming trip...Tell me honestly what you think", My mom has worn a one piece since I can remember, I have never even heard of her wearing a two piece but I looked at her and said "ha, well, You want my honest opinion?".
She said "Yes of course, I feel a little nervous but I want an honest opinion, If you say yes I will do it but I NEED an honest opinion", I said "Well, I couldn't pull that bikini off as well as you do?", She said "Really?, Like for real, Be honest", I said "Mom...I'm honestly impressed", I could see my husband peeking and when she turned away I looked at him, He just chuckled a bit and my mom said "Ok, Just a sec", My mom is not super tech savy and she stepped to the side but not quite out of view and whipped her top off, I was like (Aaahhh **) but...I don't know, I could have turned my phone away but didn't, She was messing around with a different top and I looked at my husband, He looked at me and I just....Didn't turn my phone away.
She thought she was out of view and I didn't say any different, she tried on 3 different styles of top and I gave my opinions all while my husband watched from the side and then she said "Ok, Thanks hun, I think I have what I need", We said goodbye, and hung up. I looked at my husband and said "Never a word", He said "huh?", I said "Don't play dumb, If she ever found out she would be so embarrassed", He said "Goodness, I would never say anything to her...But, she has nothing to be embarrassed about", I looked at him and said scornfully "Reallly?", He said "What?", I said "Did you really just say that my mom has nice **....Think before you answer me, My mom, Her **...Think before you answer", He shrugged and said "Hey, Not being a pig but...", I said "But what?", He shrugged and I said "Ok, Tell me...One chance and one chance only to ever mention it", He looked at me and said "Ha, Ok, Your mom has great **", He chuckled and I couldn't help but laugh, I gasped and said "Oh my god", He said "I am just being honest, I never would have guessed, She dresses VERY conservatively and would have never guessed", I said "Ok, Well...Tell me then, Why?", He said "Why what?", I said "Why do you say they are so nice?". He said "Ok, Well...I didn't realize she would have...Actually kind of big **", I said "uh huh...And?", He said "I just...They are very symmetrical, great shape, Good size, they looked fairly firm and...", I said "Annnnnd?", He laughed and said "haha, Uh, She has...Impressive **".
I looked at him and said "Impressive **?", He said "Did you look at them?", I said "No, I didn't notice" He said "well, They were hard and...Haha, Big, I just didn't expect them to look much different than yours", I said "Big?", He said "Yeah, like big as in...Big **, Not the areolae but the ** itself, Big...like big", I said "ok, ok, I get it".
That ended his chance to talk about it and although I am sure he will never look at her the same I know he will never mention it, sorry mom, i don't know why I let him watch but I did.
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