I found this hilarious

So last night after my girlfriend and myself climbed into bed, we realized it had been about two weeks since we’d had s**. So we started doing things like normal and after she had her big O, I started to do her in missionary position. For the first (and I know for sure the last) time, she told me to finish on her b******. So when I got close I pulled out and straddled her belly. She was talking dirty to me (which never happens) and I couldn’t hold back anymore.
Well due to the fact that it had been two weeks, I’d e********* quite a bit. I assumed it went on her chest, but I definitely assumed wrong. I sat there in the dark, catching my breath when after about two seconds I heard my girlfriend make a moaning/humming noise, and I quickly jumped off thinking I was squishing her or something. I heard her again make a weird noise then slap the bed, so I turned on the light, and that’s when I seen what was wrong. Now I’ve gotten off in woman’s mouths, on their chests/back/legs, and even inside of them. But I’ve never glazed a woman’s face before. Well she was covered from her chin to her forehead, unable to open her mouth, or even really breathe through her nose. I grabbed a tshirt off the floor and wiped away from her nose and mouth, as she grabbed the shirt from me and ran to the bathroom. The amount of swearing I heard coming from the bathroom had me rolling on the bed laughing in hysterics. She didn’t think it was that funny of course, but yeah I’m still giggling about it.

Sep 16

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