I found this hilarious
So last night after my girlfriend and myself climbed into bed, we realized it had been about two weeks since we’d had s**. So we started doing things like normal and after she had her big O, I started to do her in missionary position. For the first (and I know for sure the last) time, she told me to finish on her b******. So when I got close I pulled out and straddled her belly. She was talking dirty to me (which never happens) and I couldn’t hold back anymore.
Well due to the fact that it had been two weeks, I’d e********* quite a bit. I assumed it went on her chest, but I definitely assumed wrong. I sat there in the dark, catching my breath when after about two seconds I heard my girlfriend make a moaning/humming noise, and I quickly jumped off thinking I was squishing her or something. I heard her again make a weird noise then slap the bed, so I turned on the light, and that’s when I seen what was wrong. Now I’ve gotten off in woman’s mouths, on their chests/back/legs, and even inside of them. But I’ve never glazed a woman’s face before. Well she was covered from her chin to her forehead, unable to open her mouth, or even really breathe through her nose. I grabbed a tshirt off the floor and wiped away from her nose and mouth, as she grabbed the shirt from me and ran to the bathroom. The amount of swearing I heard coming from the bathroom had me rolling on the bed laughing in hysterics. She didn’t think it was that funny of course, but yeah I’m still giggling about it.