How did you know you were into BSDM, and how did you find your partner?
All I can explain is that I experienced overwhelming needs and feelings that led to my submissive relationship. I'm happy for several years now and keep renewing and enhancing my submission to my wonderful dominant partner (master). It is more of a mental process really. Being dominant is not as easy as it looks. You are developing a relationship with lots of responsibility. Lots of power that must be loving and dedicated as much, or more, than just an assumed power position. I love and obey my master, but wouldn't advise anyone else on the topic. It has to come from deep within, and you will recognize it if it does.
Discovering your lifestyle and sexuality is a gradual thing. I always was aroused by BDSM and as I learned more I found myself thinking, experimenting and learning who I really was. It was like a gravitational pull. I made daily use of hypno videos and developed a personal style and wardrobe to be a pleasing submissive. After a couple hiccups in bad relationships I finally found the dominant man who was the complete package. We make each other better because he knows how to take control and I know how to submit to his desires and direction. No arguments, fights, pouting or indecision here. In this busy, confused world I have focus and direction as well as intense love, sexuality and security. Open yourself up and experiment with your ideas, but be aware that submission is a serious thing and also depends on a strong, competent dom. Fun and games are one thing but I'm talking about real life here! I committed to a life I love. Good luck to you.
When I was younger I didn't know anything about BDSM, I just did what felt right to me. Over time I naturally became more and more dominant as I realized what turned me on and what types of relationships I was happiest in. By the time I was introduced to bdsm it was like I was finally getting the words to describe things I had been doing for years. When it came time to find someone to marry, I knew I didn't want someone who was a "scene sub"... Where submissiveness was just for play...I wanted someone who was just naturally submissive always. So I spent time in several vanilla relationships digging until I found someone who had naturally gravitated towards submissiveness her entire life the way I did to dominance. Then I just laid the groundwork and brought her into the lifestyle, and she flourished. We have been together ever since.
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