No longer in love

I don't love my boyfriend and partner of almost 5 years. I did. I really did. But now I feel my role is about placating, allowing, and entertaining. I don't want a child, I want a partner. I don't know how to tell him, and really what to do. Is it my perception that needs to change or the relationship? Of course this all comes through my understanding of things and no one else can realm know. But I'm certainly not the first that feels this way.

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  • If you no longer love him let him go. I dated the same girl for three years and after awhile we decided to go our separate ways. I'm glad we did.

  • What has he done to invoke this feeling in you? Is it a long distance relationship? How often do you talk? Being in a relationship for a long time has highs and lows and in order to make things last you both need to work on techniques to weather the lows. If it's some fundamental incompatibility you should have found that out a long time ago. The feeling may be temporary. Maybe your partner is dealing with something difficult in which case you need to be there for them. No one is perfect and if you can't sit and talk things out to make it work or be there for your partner when they probably need you the most, no relationship is ever going to work out for you. So talk it out in a pleasant way and see if you can identify the problem. You'll be surprised howquickly your feelings may change for the better. Good luck

  • You are the only one that truly knows how you feel about your boyfriend. And if you don't think this can be fixed, then you're option is to break up. Otherwise, it's time for a long talk. There are ebbs and flows in every relationship you have. Just like life. And it's really easy to become complacent and not work on things. Feelings change after being with someone for such a long time. The love can still be there, but it can change too. Evolves or sometimes ends. If this is a guy you want to marry and spend your life with, you need to learn how to talk to him and tell him how you're feeling. Even if it's difficult. He should be mature enough to handle this. In any conversation you have with your partner, you never want to make it a confrontation. You never want to say "You do this and you do that"..because you have to own your share in this too. How are you contributing? What may help is to say I need you to help me with this.. and then it doesn't come off as nagging or needy. And together you can come up with a compromise or solution. I'm sure this has been building for sometime and keep in mind, you've created a precedent for the past 5 years, your unhappiness may come as a big surprise to him. But you should definitely say this because if you expect to have children with him at some point and this stuff is not resolved (and other stuff that you can't even begin to prepare for WILL come up) you'll have 2 children watch out for. It's good practice to work on communication. No one is a mind reader and you need to happy being his girlfriend, because he already has a mom - right?! If you can't reach an understanding, go to a therapist. If he's unwilling, you may have your answer.

  • It doesn't matter whose fault it is; you're not happy. Somehow you need to talk to this person or else you'll live miserably.

  • Then leave!

  • Perhaps he has become disempowered. Lost his confidence maybe?
    Women are much more socially networked. Sometimes they end up being the organizers of the social life of the couple. The guy just goes along with it.

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