Life was better when no meant yes

I grew up during the days when it was normal for guys to pressure girls into everything from kissing to feeling them up, fingering them, forcing them to do blow jobs and of course f******. Girls were either forceful in saying no, or the sluttier ones said yes, some teases would say no but very weakly so they could say "he made me do it" and some said no and struggled but ultimately the guy won and she gave in for lots of reasons. I was one of the last kind.

I'd date guys and end up alone with them and they'd start to do things. I'd usually kiss and let them feel my t*** over my clothes. Anything more I'd start to struggle to varying degrees because I either wanted the excuse that I was "forced to do it" or I really didn't want them to do it. But the result was always the same. He either did it and I got excited by the entire scene or wished it hadn't happened and felt bad about myself.

The times it went all the way I always hated it. Usually because it was either the last time I saw them or they'd only call me when they were h**** but I was stuck in this cycle and really ended up hating s**. Everything up to fingering was okay but I hated giving oral and definitely hated f******. Guys just didn't do oral in those days. Or at least none of them did it to me or any girls I knew.

But still I don't think I was a w**** or a tease. I really do think I was forced and too weak willed to say no because I really wanted to be liked and feel loved or wanted.

So now all my relationships have either been with me as a submissive or it just didn't last long because plain s** was not appealing to me at all. I tried girls for a while and I loved everything about it except going down on them, some girls p****** are just yuck. I've only been with one girl that her p**** was a pretty color of pink, she wasn't all stretched out with blubbery v**** and not a bad smell or taste. I wish I could have made that one work but she was not nice otherwise.

Women's liberation came along and laws have changed and guys don't force s** anymore because they're afraid of being a criminal which makes sense but it should be a crime to force s** unless it is really violent or threatening. Sometimes girls just wanted to feel a little forced so they don't feel like a s*** for giving in.

So this is what I am now. Usually just me and my vibrator to be satisfied sexually and just tolerating regular s** and anxious for it to be over. Sometimes the idea of being really slutty is appealing but I'm in my 60's now and I'd just be pathetic.

So that's my confession.

Nov 1

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  • Amen, amen, amen. I grew up a wholesome goody-goodie that couldn't understand why unattractive jerks were getting all of the action. Even my own sisters were cheating on their nice boyfriends with guys that belonged in jails. When a 'reformed' ex-con got hired and it came out that he had been in for 'rayppe' they all got so excited you might have thought he was Elvis or something. I guess I whined and complained enough to get on enough nerves that some of the women started to clue me in. In essence, they said what the original poster said and more. I needed to learn when "no" meant "no" and when "no" really meant "shut up and take me." Unfortunately, in the beginning I got it wrong more times than right. Fortunately, they were patient enough to not press charges or tell their husbands and help me learn the subtle clues better. My next job had me become quite the stud at work, even though I felt like poo inside, I was the envy of my male coworkers. I don't like how extreme it got in the past but I miss the days of trial, error and forgiveness.

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