Always end up alone..

I have put myself out there by going on dating apps, meetups, social bowling, etc. People tell me I'm funny, kind, pretty, great to be around, etc. I can tell many people genuinely enjoy my company. I seem happy and try alot but I'm always end up alone. I'll make friends for a little bit then they ghost. Same with dating and it never even gets to the exclusive part. People say there is nothing wrong with me. But it's frustrating when uk how to meet people and what not but hardly anyone sticks around. Even people who say they'll be there for you just stop talking. I put in effort to reach out to friends every now and then but I guess some don't like me.
Ik things change and ppl change...but it's frustrating when hardly anyone sticks around. If something is wrong with me, why not say it? I'm just someone who is just 'there' for many people. It hurts cuz I wish I could be important enough to someone to check on in and what not. It's not like I let people walk all over me and buy them stuff or anything like that either. People tell me otherwise, but it's hard to feel important to anyone. I've gotten to the point where Idk what to do anymore. I keep trying to just meet people and put myself out there. I'm 29 so it's a bit easier to make friends because I am still young. But man, Idk what I am doing wrong. I just feel like a failure. :(

Apr 12

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  • I completely understand. I am 34 and I can't get past the 2nd date except with one person and it got messy bc he had some issues. I am ok with admitting that I have my flaws but everyone my age is either married or gay at this point. I hope you find your other half. God bless.

  • There is something you need to change. Finding out what is your challenge.

    Unfortunately, people don't tell the truth unless they are close, and you don't seem to have anyone close enough to be straight with you. If someone doesn't like you, they will act cordially, then "ghost" you. People don't like confrontation.

    I am NOT saying there is anything wrong with you.

    In fact, I would guess that it's the people you are choosing to befriend. Social apps and stuff are geared to those who don't want commitment.

    The best way to meet people, is to do something you like & not specifically look for someone.

    For instance, if you love to bike, join a bike club. Go on their group rides. Have fun even if you don't meet anyone.

    Also, try some things you don't know if you like. Join a gun club & learn to shoot. Take a yoga class or a martial arts class. Don't worry if you have never done it before. If money is tight, join something free, like a running club or walking group. You'll be surprised.

    Lastly, look at how you handle yourself.

    Don't talk about politics, religion, LGBTQ rights, etc. These are something to only discuss with well secured friends since they generate a powerful emotional response that can destroy even a good friendship. With a new person, you will be seen as "crazy".

    Also, if you come off too needy because you are lonely, it's a turn off to both potential lovers and friends. You have to be independent enough so when you call someone after a few bike rides, they don't feel you are desperate... they feel you chose to call them instead of anyone else because THEY are special.

    Research something to talk about with people before an event. Interesting historical stuff or science stuff (nothing about COVID!) is usually valuable to know about. So are old movies, books, music, etc.

    I wish I could help you more. I will say that you are not alone... this is very common lately. But don't worry, you will get thru this.

    Steve

  • I am so sorry. I can't imagine the loneliness and pain you must feel. I don't know what to tell you cuz I don't know you, but you might find it helpful to seek psychological counseling--not cuz you're crazy or anything like that, but just to have them help you figure out what's going on.

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