I Wish that I had the courage
I have a confession about my fantasy that i tried to live out several times. it doesn't involve much effort it's just getting the courage to follow through.
i have been told by my husband and several past boyfriends that i have a beautiful body. i am a shy at first, normally not very adventurous and conservative and i think my body is pretty average but they seem to think I'm something special.
i know by surfing the internet that you guys love details, so this is me. I'm 5'4'' tall, 123lbs my b****** are 34c with nipples larger than i would like but my husband loves them. I have a toned mostly athletic body and i am shaved all over (except my head) i have long brown hair and hazel eyes. i even keep my nails (hands and toes) nicely manicured. i think that i have pretty feet.
Here goes: i have had fantasies of being seen naked and vulnerable just to see if I'm considered attractive enough to take without my permission. i actually m********* to these fantasies.
After my husband has gone off to work, and I'm h****, I have performed self-bondage in the garage. this is what i do. first i get completely naked. i tie a stick to my ankles that keeps my legs open about shoulder width. I tie 3 ropes over the garage door tracks. one is waist high that pulls my hips back, so I'm slightly bent over forward with my butt out for easier access to my p**** and butt. the other two are for my wrists. before i tie my wrists i put a ball gag in my mouth then i tie my wrists so my arms are outstretched and up a little.
in this position I'm completely vulnerable. i have the rope on my right hand tied to a 10-pound weight so i have to pull pretty hard to tie/untie myself. i keep the garage door opener in one hand. all that's left is to push the button and i would be completely exposed with no obstructions to anyone or any car passing on my busy street. that's where i panic and freeze. i have actually pushed the button a few times but stopped the door before it got too open. the highest it ever got was about waist high. i don't think anyone saw although it was very exciting.
if someone i knew saw me i would be mortified. i don't even know how i would feel if they took me. i think i would be ok by being taken by a stranger. the scenario makes me so wet and h**** i can't stand it. the super dangerous part is i am not on birth control. my husband has been fixed.
i have even imagined pushing the button and as the door opened i accidentally drop the door controller. i want so bad to just once try it and be seen. i have even thought about going to a wooded area along a path and tying myself to a tree but i don't want to get arrested. that would be hard to explain to my husband.
and what if men saw me and didn't want me? that would be devastating.
Argh! what should i do? i need some sound advice.
button in hand