I wish I had told someone earlier

Ok. This is hard for me to say and write, I haven't told anyone. But, when I was roughly 10-11 years old I think maybe younger. My dad would sometimes beat me up for doing something wrong. Once I lost my things in school and he beat me up really badly until i cried whilst my mum was screaming that "hes just a child." in her language. Or how he threw a remote at my head and my mum dodged it with her hand. this happened every now and then until i when into high school in year 7 where my MUM would force me to study two hours everyday after school and everytime me or my brother would get an answer wrong she would beat us. i remember crying so much i told no one. one day my brother got angry and twisted my mums hand and i heard her scream from the other room. this stopped as i got older. but today i feel so lonely with no friends. i talk to no one and are on anti depressants since i was in year 10. we get along fine ish. but now me and my brother are on anti depressants and he once tried suicide. i still get flashbacks to this day and get emotional. I get so sad all the time and depressed and so does my brother. we are going into university now. i hope i can make some new friends because im incredibly shy. I just wish i told social services or an adult at primary school earlier. its all my fault why didnt i say anything. im legally an adult now so nothing can be done. all that is left is the impact of abuse where now i constantly shake due to my meds.

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