One fling, that's all I'm talking about

I was 15 living with my grandmother when I became pregnant with a 28 year old man. My grandmother had only one answer, I had brought this on myself and now I had to pay the price for my sins. I was married off without ceremony and sent to live with him. By the time I was 21 I had five children. I did manage to complete high school, but by correspondence.

My teen years were never teen years, I went from 15 to 35 overnight. I'm 45, my kids are all young adults and I want to have a fling, go out, just have fun before I'm old and grey. My husband is old and grey, he is 58 and no fun at all. I have to be thankful he has always provided, but he never was one to have fun.

I have a friend who tells me that we should go on a cruise. Act single and get picked up and get laid. There are always men on board looking for some young hot chick who wants to play. I guess these men are 65 and not 35. I have worried myself sick about this, a cruise is not that cheap, not the way she travels. She assures me I won't come back unhappy, as long as I play along.

One fling, and I will accept my punishment for my sins. I have the money saved, that's not a problem. It's cheating that is a problem, it weighs on my mind. I'm afraid I will freeze up when the moment comes.

Aug 23

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