I am a 40 year old single female and I love to flirt and tease. I have fantasies about being looked at. I wear short skirts to show off my long legs and low cut tops to show cleavage. When I go out to eat (sometimes by myself) I sometimes go without a bra or panties and fantasize about men looking at my b****** or up my skirt. My boyfriend knows I have this fantasy and when we go out he tells me that guys are admiring me or that someone is looking up my skirt. I get really turned on thinking about it. I don’t want to be with anyone but my boyfriend but thinking about my fantasy when we go out really turns me on. One time we were setting together in a bar and he pointed out that some guys at a lower table could see up my skirt. I looked at the guys he had pointed out and I was sure he was right. My boyfriend was setting next to me and put his hand on my left knee under our table. He pulled on my knee and I was just going to turn towards him in the direction he was pulling my knee. Somehow the strap on my right shoe got hooked on the table leg and I could not bring my right leg with my left. I said my shoe is caught on something. He didn’t hear what I said because of the music and kept pulling my left knee towards him. I let my knee go with his hand and kept trying to get my shoe unhooked from whatever it was hooked on. I was trying to not look like a klutz and quit tugging on my right shoe. Then I noticed the guys at the lower table were looking at me. I was mesmerized by their stare. My right foot was hooked on something and i had let my boyfriend have my left knee. He had pulled it towards him and with my right foot caught my legs were open. The guys were looking at me with my legs open and I felt helpless to do anything but watch them look between my legs. This is where it gets weird. I liked that helpless feeling. Guys were looking between my legs and I felt helpless to do anything but to let them look. I finally was able to tell my boyfriend that because of my shoe being hooked and him pulling on my knee, that my legs were open and the guys at the lower table had a clear view. He laughed and let go of my knee and I was able to get my shoe unhooked. Later on the way home I told him how helpless I felt with my legs open and the guys looking. He said he was sorry for pulling my legs open. I said don’t be sorry, for some strange reason I liked it. I was so turned on s** was great that night.
Since that night I have been having these helpless fantasies that really turn me on. I keep thinking what it would be like to be tied naked to the bed. Helpless to whatever my boyfriend wanted to do with me. I can’t tie myself to the bed and I’m sure my boyfriend would do it if I asked him. I talked to a couple of my girlfriends about it and they think I have lost it. I told them what happened at the bar and how turned on I was. I told them I wanted to surprise my boyfriend and asked them to tie me to the bed for him. They said no way and told me there was something wrong with me. I talked to a couple of my boyfriends friends about it and how I wanted to surprise him. Of course they didn’t have a problem doing it if I wanted them to. We are supposed to do this for his birthday in 3 weeks. I get really turned on thinking about being helpless and my boyfriend doing whatever he wants. I picture myself naked on the bed with my hands tied to the headboard and my ankles tied to each side of the footboard spreading my legs wide and my boyfriend doing whatever he wants. Am I crazy for wanting to be helpless? Am I crazy for getting turned on by being helpless? I get turned on thinking about what my boyfriend might do with me helpless. I even get turned on like I did at the bar thinking about his friends tying me to the bed for his surprise and knowing they are going to see me naked and wondering what its going to feel like when they spread my legs to tie my ankles. I know they aren’t going to leave until my boyfriend gets there so I know they are going to be looking me over. That they will see my bare b****** and nipples and they will see between my legs. I will be helpless and all I can do is let them look. They are his best friends so I trust that they won’t be doing anything but looking. Being helpless to do anything but let them look at me will be as big a turn on or bigger than the guys at the bar. Am I going to far with this? Should I forget the whole thing? Need advice before this happens. Please be kind even if you think I’m crazy or disagree with me.