I knew at twelve years old I was very different.

When I was twelve years old I was being molested by an older boy who was like nineteen years old. I weighed like 85 pounds and quite feminine for a boy. At first I was afraid and resisted his advances. The first time we were in the woods next to my house, he laid down next to a path and said come here and lay down with me. He said I didn't have to take any clothes off. He was offering me money if I can make him e********, which I knew nothing about. He took out his p**** which was way bigger than I knew a p**** could be at that time. It was bigger around than my wrist by far. He was hounding me to put it in my mouth. I was being reluctant because I was really scared of someone coming down the path and seeing me doing that. He talked me into caressing it and gently stroking it. It only took like sixty seconds and he was gonna finish so he was trying to get me to put in my mouth so it wouldn't make a mess. I was like no, no ,no. He said "here gimmi your hands" and he e********* into my hands. I was trying to keep it from oozing thru my fingers onto my pants but it got on me, he was like so nice afterwards. He apologized for getting it on my clothes and gave me five dollars and bought me a slurpee from the 7-11. To me it didn't feel like molestation, it felt more like a girl with an older boy trying to get in my pants. More like secretly dating an older boy. It fully progressed into a full blown secret relationship for about a year, till he moved out of state. I will never forget the feelings I experienced like the first time I held his p**** and felt like a little feminine girl. The overwhelming feeling the first time he e********* in my mouth. The smell and taste was so powerful it made me have my first erection. Those feelings changed me forever. He got me and I can't undo it. I don't know if I would have ever been the way I am If he never got me to experience those feelings. I will never know.

16 days

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