the long-distance consort

I have been married for 12 years; not a passionate marriage, but friendly and happy. We have a school-age child - we married because I was pregnant at age 19.

A year ago I started talking to a co-worker in another city. Mostly business, sometimes friendly chat. 6 months ago, the relationship evolved quickly and unexpectedly into an emotional affair. Three months ago, the affair escalated and became physical. We have managed to spend about three weeks (in total) of time together. The s** is phenomenal. Our emotional attachment and attraction is real. The conversations are stimulating. This man has revealed to me emotions and feelings that I never knew I had. I've never really experienced love - honestly, I thought that the idea of "story love" and mind-blowing o****** was disproportionate to reality. As it turns out, I didn't know what reality was.

I feel that if I had met this person 13 years ago, I would have ended my relationship with my spouse. Since I met him a year ago, that isn't possible. I'm unwilling to divorce because I have a young child. My consort agrees that parenting is most important, and he would like me to wait until my child is in college (about 6 years), and then start a new life with him. He wants to wait for me. I would do this in a hearbeat. In fact, if I could do it without damaging my family, I would do it this instant. I wish I had known more about love before I married.

My husband has no suspicions about my relationship with my consort. In fact, my family has met him (he even stayed at my house during a visit), and they like him very much. I feel like the most debauched woman ever. I hate being such a liar, but I can't stop being in love with this man.

Nobody knows my secret.

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