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THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT
In the late 1980s, I had experienced a new birth as a Christian. I was young and naive, but I had this epiphany to pray for the adversary in order to restore harmony to the heavens. After repeating that prayer for many years, I realized that everything and everyone I had ever prayed for had either been destroyed, had passed away, or had met an untimely end of some manner. As a Christian, fortunately I had solely prayed for my enemies, so I began to understand that it was both a blessing and curse. As I often tried to pray for myself to commit suicide out of remorse but this of course did not work. In the end I decided to use this loophole in the Matrix to change the world and end the reign of many dictators and change the course of human events for the better. Which is what brought me here today, why I make this confession. You see, our time is short...
Come on now space brothers, lets get it together, and join the space federation
Hmm yes. Totally makes sense ...