I hate this life.

Ever since I was around 10 I stared Self harm. I used to do it on my hand and no one noticed. I am a few years older and I still do it. On my arm. I sent in a while. In about 2 months. Everyday I just want to Self Harm again. School **. I only have a few friends. My family is always yelling at me. Idk what to do. But I'm trying to contribute it's hard. I have 2 therapists I am very open to 1 and the other I'm not. The one I'm open to I love so much. Shes so nice and always tried to make time for me. I'm very grateful for my best friend and I can't leave him but it's hard. My S/O is also helping. But it is hard it hard to live in a life I never wanted to be in. Me and my mom have a promise since she lost her dad to suicide that I won't. That's why I sent she doesn't commit and I won't either. I know that sounds messed up but it helps both of us. My mom has always been there for me. I love her so much. I hope she knows how much. I know me and her fight sometimes but she doesn't know that I'm alive because her. Thank you for reading. If you are having thoughts of suicide pls contact someone you trust or get the help you need.

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