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I'm a straight female attracted to my lesbian friend

As pathetic as it sounds, she's the first actual flesh-and-blood human I've ever feel attraction to, before it's only been fictional characters and figments of my own imagination. I don't even know why I like her of all people in this way, she's kind of fat and honestly just straight-up ugly, I know shouldn't find her appealing at all, but my ** has a mind of its own. She came out to me a couple years ago, and just the fact that she's a lesbian is so hot to me. Usually it's so hard for me to feel even a tiny bit of arousal, but when I think about her the feeling just comes flooding in without any real effort. I know it's creepy, fantasizing about my friend, but still I don't want to stop, and I can't help wondering if she's ever feel any attraction towards me, ever fantasized about me. She most likely hasn't, I'm probably just being the stereotype of the annoying straight girl who believes every lesbian is attracted to them.

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