It's hard being a Bisexual male in a serious straight relationshi

I've known I was bisexual since I was young and the first time I had intimacy with my best friend.

Nearly 12 years forward I'm in a 5 year relationship with a girl who I absolutely love.

I sometimes have these cravings that are extremely hard to control. They spiral out of control and I become obsessive thinking about it, that I'll do anything to fill that ** without actually acting on it. Other times it's much easier to control.

I've told her about these urges and asked if she would be interested in mingling with someone we trust only for the satisfaction and she declined in a disgusted manner.

I've tried to explain these urges to her but I do not think she understands that I'm just trying to tell her how I feel and she may be taking it as I'm not attracted to her because I am.