I pretend to not know how my ‘friends’ are

I am a uni student who moved quite far away from home for college, I met new people in hope of letting go what I have seen in the past. Most of the people I know now are only present in times when they need me for a task, and then disappear until they need me for something again. They act fake nice to me in front of other people to look good in the other person’s eye, and then just leave when they don’t have anyone else to impress. I have noticed their behaviour pattern for quite a while, but I don’t say out loud that I know what they are doing to me, all the talks behind the back, the fact that I know all those random hangouts where they just met up and went somewhere with piano intentions to leave me out are all intentional. I just act like I don’t know anything in fear that I will be all alone again like before if I recognise the truth. Sometimes it hurts when I realise I enjoy them being friends with me, even it’s only for a while and it ending as soon as someone else thake their eyes off from what’s happening. I feel embarazada really

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