Toxic Friend?

I have a friend who is constantly self deprecating, and talking poorly about themselves. I'm pretty patient when it comes to this sort of thing, but I'm kind of getting fed up with them. It sounds awful, but I'm just so tired when I'm around them. I feel so drained every time I come home from hanging out with them, and it is low key affecting my mental health.
They constantly use phrases like "I'm so fat, I'm so dumb, I'm so ugly" etc.
It makes me sad that they feel this way, but I also can't ignore the fact that this has comprised what I'd genuinely estimate to be over 75% of our conversations since meeting.
On top of this, my feelings are immediately dismissed with fake compliments and shallow affirmations rather than actually listening to my problems with the same attentiveness I give them. I try to provide resources and advice that will genuinely help them, but they always brush it off and never truly listen, and then come around the next day saying the exact same thing. The repetitiveness is eating away at my patience. I am constantly using my energy to bring them up, which is bringing both my mood and my energy way down.
There's also the fact that when I voice my own insecurities I get told, "but it's different for you, you're white". Like, I acknowledge to a certain extent I have white privilege, but what they fail to understand is that I have also been ignored when it comes to romantic relationships, for similar reasons that they are complaining about themselves. They constantly go on about how fat they are, when they are literally not. Like seriously, it infuriates me. Because I am plus size, and I know how it feels to have people regard you as unattractive based on your body type; and they do not face this problem. There are so many people who have crushes on them. So to hear them go on and on about how ugly and huge they are makes me annoyed because they are literally what so many people want to be. I'm confident in my body, but I have rough days too; I've found these have been occurring more regularly since meeting them. When I share that I'm feeling chubbier than usual, they'll be like "nooo, you're literally so skinny. I am fat."
Like, they are dismissing and erasing that part of my personality and appearance, while also proceeding to make it about them.
This happens a lot. I could be discussing anything and they'd just cut me off to talk about their insecurity of the day, as if they weren't listening to a word I've said.
Another thing that annoys me is, I have caught them omitting details about fights they have had with their other friends and SO's when recounting arguments to other people around us; almost as if they do not see how they have been an equal participant in these dramas. It makes it hard to trust them. They have a huge victim mindset which makes them think everyone is out to get them.
I have tried to set boundaries but they just don't respect them.
I just wish that we could talk about something other than their insecurity, and their problems. I really do try to help them with their confidence, but they do not listen. It's like I'm talking to a brick wall; when in reality I'd really much prefer to be talking to an actual human being.

Jun 9

Next Confession

Drowning in bills

Related Posts

See today's best, hand picked, Amazon deals - Updated daily

No Comments Yet

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Reason for reporting this post
Report this comment
Reason for reporting this comment
Delete this post?